Phoebe Fay

I'm Fine

2009-09-11T12:02:00.003-06:00

First off, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, and I'm very sorry if I worried anyone.

I'm back on medication, and I don't hate myself anymore, and that's a really good thing. The side effect is that I'm not writing. Not writing here (obviously), not writing in my journal, finding it difficult even to answer e-mails.

This happened the first time I went on medication, too. Difference being, I was writing fiction then. The ability to write fiction never came back. Here's hoping this hiatus from the written word is of a less permanent nature.

However, the medication isn't temporary. After three go-rounds with this, I have to consider that my depression is chronic. I can't just go off and expect to stay fine. And I can't live with every other random thought in my head being some variation on "you suck" or "life is hopeless." So, the meds and I are going to stay together for awhile.

What that means is that writing, which used to come so naturally, now comes with excruciating slowness.

I don't want to spend my life not writing. I am hoping that my writing bone has just been injured, not amputated. I'm hoping that it just needs some rehab and time in the mental gym. So here I am, taking some steps, and it's really uncomfortable, but I'm hoping that if I keep doing it, it will all come back to me.

I'll try to keep it up. Love to you all.

Lost

2009-06-08T12:23:00.001-06:00

Sagacious Hillbilly asked awhile back if I was lost.

In short, yes. I am lost.

I've been struggling with another round of depression for months now. It's stolen away any desire to write, stolen away even the idea that I can write.

I'm coming back. I started on medication a couple weeks ago, and I've been having sessions with a moderately useless psychologist.

I'm going to try to start writing again. Emphasize try. We'll see.

I've had this screen open for hours, and this is all I've gotten done. I've opened up screens so many times, just to have them sit there for hours, empty and sterile.

So, we'll see. I've still got a ways to go on the journey.

My Day

2009-04-19T21:20:00.003-06:00

Last night:
1 kir royale
Half a bottle of white burgundy
Four course meal
Bonus dessert of creme brulee.

Bonus dessert did not include chocolate. So on the way home, stop at the grocery store for a slice of flourless chocolate cake. Once home, open the 16-year-old port that MP's been saving for 15 years.

Today I woke with a headache. Shocking, huh? I'm blaming the chocolate cake.

So, I started the day by siting on the couch and watching While You Were Sleeping while the coffee and Motrin work their magic.

Then:

Vitamin Cottage
PetSmart
Starbucks
Bed Bath and Beyond
Best Buy
Joe's Crab Shack
CostCo
Scandinavian Designs
Jason's Deli
World Market
King Soopers
Checker Auto Parts

We spent money at all of those places, except the furniture store and the auto store.

Stimulating the economy is hard. I am exhausted. Good night.

Amazon Fail

2009-04-12T19:04:00.002-06:00

Amazon.com has removed the sales ranking of certain books. They still sell the books, but without the sales rankings, the books don't show up in certain types of searches.

When someone first noticed this, he sent an inquiry, and some hapless help desk person named Ashlyn D. responded:

"In consideration of our entire customer base, we exclude "adult" material from appearing in some searches and best seller lists. Since these lists are generated using sales ranks, adult materials must also be excluded from that feature."

So, "adult" material would be sexually explicit material, perhaps? Er, no. "Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds" still has its rank. As does "Super Beauties: Nude and Natural."

"Adult" in this context seems to be any book that touches on lesbian and gay issues, including such steamy titles as "Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America" and "Ellen DeGeneres: A Biography." Feminist writers have also taken a hit.

Amazon is now claiming this is the result of a "glitch" in their systems. Hell of a glitch. Who knew that when the computers started taking over, they'd target the gays and lesbians first?

I have sent an e-mail to Amazon expressing my extreme displeasure about this, and I hope everyone else will, too. E-mails, phone calls, whatever. Let's make Jeff Bezos squirm so much that this gets fixed immediately and never becomes an issue again.

Friday Again?

2009-04-10T12:26:00.005-06:00

Where the hell did the time go? This week flew by, and I don't even feel like anything got accomplished.

Many funny things this week:

First off, there's the conservative obsession with their tea parties and Fox News' willingness to repeatedly say "teabagging" on the air. It's impossible not to mock them. Rachel Maddow did a segment on it last night on her show, and she could barely keep a straight face.

I made the mistake of trying to eat dinner while watching and nearly spewed angel hair pasta all over the table when Ana Marie Cox actually uttered the words, "who wouldn't want to tea bag John McCain?"

Then there's the National Organization for (straight people) Marriage (NOM).

NOM, in addition to launching the world's lamest gay fearmongering TV ads, has acronym issues. Their latest initiative is Two Million for Marriage, which they have chosen to brand as 2M4M.

Really? 2M4M. You're an anti-gay group, and you're pushing an acronym with M4M in it? Do you really not get the irony here? Let me help you out:

And finally, putting all politics aside, a brief movie review. I long resisted watching the movie Role Models because I just assumed it would be juvenile, silly, and crude. It was, in fact, all of those things. But, it also made me laugh out loud, and at one point, I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. I don't want to give away the specifics of the best scene, but I will say this: it involved an epic battle, the band KISS, and Paul Rudd's manly chest.

Happy Friday everyone!

Note: LOLCats pictured above are totally getting gay married as soon as they're old enough to run away to Iowa.

Friday Funny

2009-04-03T14:40:00.002-06:00

I was feeling blue earlier, but then I saw this at Pandagon.net, and I laughed really hard and felt better.

These are actors reading actual quotes from fundamentalists about evolution and atheism.

I think this is my favorite quote:

Everyone knows that scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Take Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example. Sounds impressive, right? Have you ever seen what happens when you put something in acid? It dissolves! If our bodies were full of that acid, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution.

Explain Please

2009-04-01T10:04:00.004-06:00

I just started reading Republican Congressman Paul Ryan's op-ed promoting the GOP's alternative budget. Here is his second paragraph:

We will first consider President Barack Obama's plan. To be clear, this is no ordinary budget. In a nutshell, the president and Democratic leaders in Congress are attempting to bring about the third and final great wave of progressivism, building on top of the New Deal and the Great Society. So America is placed in a special moment in our history -- brought about by the deep recession, Mr. Obama's ambitious agenda, and the pending fiscal tidal-wave of red ink brought forward by the looming insolvency of our entitlement programs. If this agenda comes to pass, it will mark this period in history as the moment America turned European.

And this is a bad thing why?

Update: Just finished reading it. This is from the end of the piece:

We hope the administration and Democratic leaders in Congress do not distort and preach fear about our Republican plan.

In other words, please don't use our own favorite tactics against us.

The only Twilight post I will ever write

2009-03-29T10:43:00.004-06:00

True confession, I have read the book Twilight. It was a gift, so I read it.

The book will never be confused with great literature. It is not particularly well written, although I've seen worse get published. Most of the characters are cardboard cutouts, and even the better developed characters are loaded with clichés. Deep, it is not.

Even with all that, if these books had been around when I was 14, I would have devoured them. They are immensely satisfying from the standard of adolescent girl fantasies.

That is the kindest thing I can say about the book, which is why I never had the slightest intention of blogging about the Twilight phenomenon.

But then I saw this. This guy has a bone to pick (or a vein to pierce) because, gosh darn it, those vampires just aren't evil enough.

Vampires, in these modern novels, are like gays and lesbians — people just like you and me who are marginalized only because of their sexual tastes.... We have fully reversed the symbolism of Stoker’s vampire, who represented a demonic assault on a virtuous community. Today’s vampire is the hip Other, and the community around him is either bungling, intolerant, or simply a source of comedic relief.

Now, never mind that a) vampires don't exist and b) there are both good and evil vampires in Twilight and c) the evil ones are painted as purely evil and are destroyed. It's not enough. This guy wants - nay, needs - to have our popular culture painted in stark black and white. He needs monsters. He doesn't want to have to think about the Other being complex or nuanced. He wants something he can drive a stake through without remorse.

He's right to be concerned. Once people start looking at the Other and start considering that it may be complex and nuanced, things do get trickier. Once you start considering that people who are Not Exactly Like You are still human beings and have feelings and thoughts, all hell breaks loose. If you acknowledge their humanity, then you have to start giving them rights. Minorities and women start voting and getting educations and owning property, and that, naturally, is the end of civilization.

Because next thing you know, people start thinking that the Other can make decisions about things like who to marry. You might even wind up with a president who looks suspiciously like a black man and who dares to think about dark-skinned people on the other side of the planet as people instead of as monolithic evil that we can just bomb back to the stone age with impunity.

Yes, he's right to be concerned. In this world of complex villains and anti-heroes, he might be required to think. He might have to actually expand his mind and his view of the world. Terrible fate, that.

****

Note: I haven't seen the movie version, but apparently that lovely young piece of man flesh up there plays the evil vampire. Given that, I will likely see it someday because sometimes there is just nothing better than a totally cheesy movie with a hot villain.

The Long View

2009-03-24T22:54:00.002-06:00

I watched President Obama's press conference tonight.

First of all, I delight in just being able to listen to the president of the United States for an entire hour. That didn't happen at all the last eight years. For one thing, I doubt Dubya could keep enough thoughts in his head to be on camera for a whole hour, and second, even if he had, I never had the fortitude to listen to him for more than five minutes. If I'd gone longer, I would have either stuck screwdrivers in my ears or smashed the TV.

But back to Obama. Here's the thing that seems to continually confound inside-the-beltway types. Obama doesn't talk in soundbites. He doesn't determine policy based on what makes a good slogan. He actually has a big picture. There are actual ideas and principles informing decisions, not just gotcha politics and daily headlines.

I love that he can connect these issues. You can't fix the economy without fixing the issues that prevent our economy from being competitive in the long term, which means fixing energy and healthcare and education. And you can't fix the deficit without fixing the long term issues of healthcare and sustainable growth in the economy, which again circles back to education, jobs and all-round good policy. It's all connected, and the Obama team gets that.

Whether you agree or disagree with the philosophy of the Obama administration, at least it's there. It's not just politics and blind ideology.

This is not real

2009-03-23T11:07:00.006-06:00

No, it's not from a real coloring book. It's from this guy.

However, the fact that I saw it and considered it might be something that an actual person would have published without irony says an awful lot about the state of craziness in our world today.

Because honestly, why wouldn't I believe some religious fanatic created a comic book with Jesus riding a dinosuar? There's a whole museum dedicated to promoting ideas at least as crazy. The Creation Museum even has a dinosaur with a saddle.

Then there's the he site conservapedia.com, which devotes far more space to the creationist notion that dinosaurs and humans coexisted than it does to evolution. It also used to illustrate the page with this picture.

So, really, is it any surprise that I got suckered for a moment with the top picture?

The Financial Mess

2009-03-20T10:46:00.003-06:00

I've been trying to come up with something sane, sensible and/or witty about the giant AIG-Congress clusterfuck, but it's just beyond my capacity.

Or at least beyond my capacity to talk about it without using so many swear words that blogger would curl up into the fetal position.

So instead, I'll share this, which in some form or fashion is probably all to blame.

Happy St. Paddy's Day

2009-03-17T10:09:00.002-06:00

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Healthcare Baddies

2009-03-14T10:03:00.004-06:00

Sorry if you're getting tired of the healthcare reform stuff, but there's just so much to infuriate that it's impossible to leave it alone.

Like, how infuriating is it that the guy heading up a group to fight reform made his fortune when the company he founded was defrauding the government of hundreds of millions of dollars?

Rick Scott is heading up Conservatives for Patients' Rights (CPR), a new group that plans to spend around $20 million to fight efforts for government involvement in healthcare reform.

Rick Scott is also the founder of Columbia Hospital Foundation, which later became Columbia/HCA, which later became the target of an FBI investigation for Medicare and Medicaid fraud, and which ultimately wound up pleading guilty and paying $840 million, the largest government fraud settlement in U.S. history. Subsequent suits bumped that total to $1.7 billion.

Scott resigned as CEO after the initial FBI raids and was never charged with a crime. But there's no question that the company he headed - the company that made him rich - was ripping off taxpayer-funded healthcare programs on an epic scale.

The irony fairy is on overload.

Random Beefiness

2009-03-13T11:23:00.004-06:00

Just because I feel like it. And I don't feel like ranting, but the only ideas swirling around in my head are rants because the world is excessively rant-worthy.

If you'd like a rant of your own, you can consider the GOP's flippity-flop action on the whole idea of competition in health insurance.

See, back in the day when denial of the need for massive healthcare reform was still an option, the GOP said, competition will save everything! Free market! Woo-hoo.

Now that even the staunchest of the staunch are recognizing the stench of a rotten healthcare infrastructure, they're not so keen on the idea of competition. They're saying we shouldn't have a public-insurance option for people because then everybody will choose that, and the private insurers won't be able to compete.

Why we're supposed to protect companies that can't compete is not explained. Also not explained is how a public option can be both the killer app that everyone will love so much that they'll desert the private insurers AND the horrible, terrible, awful, no-good thing that all good Americans fear and loathe.

But, hey, I said I wasn't going to rant. So, I'll stop now.

I'll twitter instead. Yes, I am apparently a brain-dead, trend-following, Internet-addicted twit. So I joined Twitter. And I tweet sometimes. I don't know why. Please don't ask me to explain.

OK, one more thing. Alan Rickman in glasses. It would be more perfect if he were in a tux, but it will have to do.

Size Does Matter

2009-03-12T10:42:00.003-06:00

David Frum seems surprised that self-employed people, once reliably Republican-leaning, may now be leaning left due to the pressures of health care costs. He quotes this article:

Historically, the self-employed have pulled the lever for Republicans, concerned about such standard business-owner worries as strict regulations and high taxes. But these days, fewer and fewer middle-income Americans are paying taxes; the Tax Foundation reports that households paying no federal income tax rose from 21 percent in 1990 to 33 percent now, and would rise to 44 percent under Obama’s proposed plan. As some of the self-employed leave the tax rolls, they will lose one reason to vote Republican. Many will also have a reason to vote Democrat: health insurance. “Several of my friends, once die-hard Republicans, have begun to lean left since working for themselves or for a small company,” says Noe Pagán. “There’s nothing like a lack of health insurance to change your point of view.”
It seems paradoxical that a rise in self-employment might create a constituency for bigger government, but the modern economy is shaking up many old alliances.

Feh. Anyone surprised by the leftward shift on health care issues simply hasn't tried to purchase it themselves. If you can find an affordable policy, it probably doesn't actually cover anything. If you try to get a good policy, the payments will bleed you dry. And if you have a pre-existing condition, the insurance companies will tell you to go away and die.

I will be venturing down this road again soon. For some years, I had a high-deductible policy with Assurant that was affordable, but paid for nothing. Theoretically, it would have kicked in if I'd had any major issues, but I'm glad I never had to test that theory. The company has some history of denying claims. I was able to ditch them last summer when I went on MP's policy as a domestic partner. Eight glorious months of good insurance! Then MP's smallish company got bought by a giant company, and on the day the policies switched over, we discovered I wasn't covered anymore. Turns out that while they do cover domestic partners, they only cover same-sex domestic partners. Oops! Fortunately, I'm covered by COBRA, and the payments for that are only slightly atrocious. Still, it's not a long-term solution, and I've got to start researching alternatives soon.

I'm really looking forward to finding new insurance. Should be more fun than an all-expense paid tour of Taliban caves!

***

But here's the bigger picture. It has to do with that last line: It seems paradoxical that a rise in self-employment might create a constituency for bigger government. Once again, feh. It's a very easily explained paradox.

We live in a big country with lots of people and an economy that is measured in trillions. Trillions! That's so many zeros, it makes me dizzy to count them all. Whenever a society gets big, there are a big systems to manage it. Big institutions. In the U.S., those institutions are government and corporations.

For the last couple-few decades, we've had the Republican party launching an all-out assault on the size of government. Grover Norquist and his drowning-in-the-bathtub cohorts have preached a gospel of smaller government is better, and the private sector is god.

The natural result has been the rise of giant corporations. Insurance giants handle healthcare, Wall Street giants handle finance, Halliburton, Blackwater et al handle war, and Exxon Mobil manages energy policy. And we all know how well that's worked out.

The complaints about big government are always complaints about bureaucracy and and waste and red tape. Of course, anyone who has ever dealt with an insurance company customer "service" line knows that the bureaucracies of corporations are every bit as daunting as the bureaucracies of government, and anyone who's ever worked in corporate America knows that waste is universal. It's a function of size.

The primary difference that I see between relying on a giant corporation for something like my healthcare versus relying on a giant government agency is accountability. The government is accountable to me, the voter, while the corporation is accountable only to its shareholders.

I've seen enough of how corporate management works on issues of general welfare* that I'm more than willing to turn back to government. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

*By the way, that commie pinko "general welfare" line comes from this totally radical document that says, "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." I know that freaks out some Republicans so much that they can't even remember what it is.

Why the Pope should do us a favor and exit the planet.

2009-03-09T21:15:00.003-06:00

This story makes me so angry, I could spit nails.

It begins with crime and tragedy. A nine-year-old girl is raped by her stepfather and becomes pregnant with twins. She's nine. She weighs about 80 pounds. Trying to carry twins to term is a serious and immediate threat to her health. It could kill her.

So her mother did what any mother would do. She arranged for an abortion because that was what was necessary to save the life of her daughter. I cannot imagine any mother who loves her child not being willing to make that choice.

So what does the Catholic Church, in all their patriarchal, backwards, dark ages asshattery do? Excommunicates the mother and the doctors.

But the guy who raped a little girl? He's still welcome to take communion.

Fuck you, Pope Ratfucker. Fuck you, all you Brazilian Bishops and Cardinals who care nothing for a living, breathing child who was abused and faced death. If there is a hell, I hope you burn in it.

What is the Matter With Oklahoma?

2009-03-09T10:51:00.003-06:00

I've never been to Oklahoma. I've just never had either reason or desire to go to Oklahoma. And now I think I have good reasons to avoid it.

First off, one of their legislators is trying to pass a resolution to prevent atheist Richard Dawkins from speaking at the University of Oklahoma.

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma, as a part of the Darwin 2009 Project, has invited as a public speaker on campus, Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, whose published opinions, as represented in his 2006 book “The God Delusion”, and public statements on the theory of evolution demonstrate an intolerance for cultural diversity and diversity of thinking and are views that are not shared and are not representative of the thinking of a majority of the citizens of Oklahoma; and

You get that? It's saying Oklahoma values its tolerance and cultural diversity so much it doesn't want to have to listen to this guy because he's not tolerant of their cultural diversity. Cultural diversity in Oklahoma apparently means that they accept both Creationists AND Intelligent Design types.

Then there's the guy who just can't get over the fact that Obama won. A hunting instructor in Tulsa asked the class attendees if any of them had voted for Obama and when one guy raised his hand, he threw him and his son out of the class, saying he wouldn't teach "liberals" and calling Obama "the next thing to the Antichrist."

The level of crazy still amazes me sometimes. You'd think I'd be inured to it by now, but it still surprises me every time.

Victory Gardens

2009-03-06T15:02:00.004-07:00

I've been reading more and more about people planting the modern version of Victory Gardens as a way of coping with recession and food scares. I think it's an awesome idea. One more way in which not to waste a good crisis.

For some people, it's a way to save money and increase food security. After the various food contamination stories of the last few years, it's also a way to feel better about what we're putting into our bodies.

Every which way I look at it, there's no down side. It's such a good idea, I may even have to do it.

Agricultural Secretary Tom Vilsack already started, breaking pavement outside his office building, and lots of people want the Obamas to plant one at the White House.

If people latch on to this at anywhere near the levels they did during World War II, the impact could be huge. It's estimated that the gardens accounted for up to 40 percent of all produce consumed during those years.

If gardens like this could actually increase vegetable consumption today, it would be a huge boon for U.S. health.

So what say you, blog-o-fiends? Shall we all plant ourselves some peppers and beans and whatnot?

Freakin' Idiot du Jour

2009-03-04T10:53:00.002-07:00

Once again, the stupid burns itself into my skull.

Here's Glenn Beck talking about proposed changes in the tax code:

I don't think I've ever seen a president or a government do anything that I thought was out-and-out evil. I mean, we've gotten close. I think rendition is pretty darned evil. But this is enslaving, what our president has proposed and what is in this new bill. Changes in the tax deductions for charitable giving!

Yes, according to Beck, a few people getting a smaller deduction for charitable deductions is MORE EVIL than kidnapping and torturing people and imprisoning them without due process.

By the way, the proposed change would cap the tax benefits at 28 percent for people in the highest tax bracket. I'm not clear on the mechanism by which they would do it, but here's the impact. Right now, when a very high-income person makes a charitable donation of $1000, he saves $350 in taxes. If this change goes into effect in two years, he would only save $280 in taxes. He still gets a tax deduction that is considerably higher than the vast majority of taxpayers would get because the majority of taxpayers are in the 15 percent bracket and thus would only save $150 based on a $1000 donation.

But, it's not quite as much as he used to save, so therefore, according to Glenn Beck, it's way more evil than torture.

And that's why Glenn Beck is our giant, smelly, pestilent, freakin' idiot du jour.

***

I can't leave you with only this idiot to contemplate, so we'll throw in a little beefcake. These guys all look (and most certainly are) smarter than the bloviating gasbag above.

I know it's not traditional beefcake, but guys in tuxedos and glasses make me hot. Every girl's crazy about a smart-dressed man!

The Stupid

2009-03-03T16:44:00.004-07:00

One of the reasons I am studying economics is that I'm really concerned about the incredibly low levels of economic literacy in the country, and I'd like to be able to help raise those levels someday.

However, I don't think there's anything I can say or write that will help these idiots.

President Barack Obama's tax proposal – which promises to increase taxes for those families with incomes of $250,000 or more -- has some Americans brainstorming ways to decrease their pay, even if it's just by a dollar.
A 63-year-old attorney based in Lafayette, La., who asked not to be named, told ABCNews.com that she plans to cut back on her business to get her annual income under the quarter million mark should the Obama tax plan be passed by Congress and become law. ...
"We are going to try to figure out how to make our income $249,999.00," she said.
"We have to find a way out where we can make just what we need to just under the line so we can benefit from Obama's tax plan," she added. "Why kill yourself working if you're going to give it all away to people who aren't working as hard?"

This is a lawyer. Another person quoted saying essentially the same thing was a dentist. I do not want these people handling either my legal affairs or my teeth.

It's not just that they're ignorant of the way a marginal tax rate works. It's that their ignorance does not stop from spouting off to reporters. They either don't know or care that they're ignorant.

Here's the deal. We have a progressive income tax. That means some people will be in low tax brackets - 10 or 15 percent for most people. Some people will be in higher brackets like 25 or 28 percent. And a very small number of people will be even higher brackets - 33 and 35 percent.

And here's the thing that the idiots above don't seem to grasp. Being in the 35 percent bracket DOES NOT mean you pay 35 percent of your income in tax. It's a marginal rate. It's 10 percent of the first chunk of income and 15 percent of the second chunk and so on and so forth. There's no way in hell that going from $249,999 in income to $250,001 is going to make you poorer. Worst case scenario under the Obama plan is that your tax on that last dollar is maybe 4.6 cents more than it is under the current system. But, you're still better off with more income.

I am so sick of these people who have been whipped into a frenzy of tax fear by the right wing. First of all, the proposed increase in the top marginal rates is not draconian. It's a return to the 1990s level. Remember the '90s? Back when the economy so totally didn't suck. Back when the rich somehow managed to enjoy their wealth even without the benefit of Bush tax cuts?

Another thing I am sick of are the people who think that because some cutting of taxes can be helpful in some circumstances that ALL tax cuts are always helpful. But let's look at history here. In the '50s, we had top marginal tax rates of around 90 percent. In the '60s and '70s, top marginal rates were around 70 percent. THOSE were high taxes. And cutting those taxes probably did have some stimulative effect. But, our top rates are currently half of what they were then. You simply don't get the same bang from cutting a 35 percent rate that you would from cutting a 70 percent rate. And anyone who suggests that you would or that it's the best way to stimulate the economy is full of giant piles of steaming shit.

Random Stuff

2009-03-01T21:36:00.005-07:00

1) A link for the gingers among my readers.

2) The movie Religulous. I love this movie. It's funny as hell (pun intended), and it makes you think. Everyone absolutely positively must watch this movie.

3) We got a one of these!

It's Amazon's Kindle 2, and it sends my geek heart to fluttering every time I think about it. The coolest part about it for me is that for practically any book I think I might be interested in, I can download a sample for free. I haven't actually purchased any books for it yet because I've been endlessly browsing books and reading samples.

And it really is easy on the eyes and totally readable. There's none of the eyestrain of a computer monitor because it's not backlit and strobing. The whole "electronic ink" concept is very cool.

It does have it's drawbacks. The biggest problem is the no reading it in the bathtub rule. I look forward to the waterproof version. The other problem is that the atrociously expensive textbooks I've been getting aren't available, so there's no savings there. (Regular books, however, are cheaper - mostly $9.99 for new hardbacks.)

The final problem is that we only have one, and it's mostly for MP to use while traveling because twice in a row this year, he's gone on a trip, finished the book he brought with him and then had to buy another one on the road, usually from places with very mundane selections. With the Kindle, he can just load it up before he goes or download new books on the road. It's got some absurdly huge storage capacity.

4) Dane Cook makes me want to shove red-hot pokers in my eyes. We watched My Best Friend's Girl this weekend, and not even the utterly adorable Kate Hudson could salvage it from the giant pile of suck. I can't even write more about it because the more I think about it, the more I hate it, and the more I mourn those two wasted hours of my life.

Whack-a-Doodle Friday

2009-02-27T08:55:00.003-07:00

There's just so much whacked stuff going on in the world, I though I would do a round-up.

First, there's the whacked North Dakota House of Representatives, which passed a "personhood" law, which says North Dakota law and the state constitution should consider anything with a single human cell as a human being with all of the rights a human being has.

My biggest problem with these things declaring that life begins the moment sperm meets egg is that well over half of those fertilized eggs never result in a pregnancy. They just get flushed out with the woman's next period. It's the way the system is designed. Now if every one of those little zygotes is a full-fledged person, then the designer of the female body is a killer on an epic scale.

So, my question to North Dakota is, when will you be bringing God up on mass murder charges?

Jesus' General has a different response. Set down your coffee and sodas before reading:

Congratulations on the passage of your bill granting full civil-rights to zygote-Americans. It's a great start, but we both know it is only that, a start. Trillions upon trillions of our spermatazoan-American brothers continue to be murdered every hour in our nation. This tubesock holocaust must end.

Purity pledges aren't the answer. Men need to liberate the spermatazoan-Americans imprisoned within their gonads on a regular basis. Without such a release, A man's system gets backed up, causing him to slip into an O'Reillian state of constant, uncontrolled rage.

More at the link. Very good stuff.

****

Our next whack-a-doodle dude comes from my own home state, sorry to say. Republican state Sen. Dave Schultheis was the lone no vote on a bill to require HIV tests for pregnant women. His reasoning (and I'm using that word very loosely) was that he didn't think government should be in the business of protecting people from the negative consequences of their actions.

"What I'm hoping is that, yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that," he said. "The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior."

Yes, you read that right. This whackjob, who naturally calls himself pro-life and spouts off about "all life is precious, from conception to natural death," wants babies to be born with AIDS just so their mothers will feel guilty later and renounce what he assumes are her slutty ways.

This guy explicitly puts the lie to all the religious right rhetoric that it's all about protecting the innocent itty bitty babies. His agenda, and the agenda of his whackjob cohorts, is to control people's sexuality and to punish people who don't comply with his rigid world view.

Compassion is nothing to these people. The precious "unborn" are only stage dressing for their extreme anti-abortion and anti-contraception views. And those views are ultimately all about putting people - especially women - in their place.

Next time some pro-lifer spouts off, remember Dave Schultheis. This is the anti-choice position taken to its extreme. It's evil and utterly devoid of compassion, and it should be stopped.

Note: according to the CDC, proper treatment throughout pregnancy can reduce the risk of perinatal transmission of HIV to less than two percent. Without treatment, the risk is about 25 percent. Perinatal transmission is the cause of almost AIDS cases in children in the U.S. Getting tested is important, and it truly does save lives.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T12:46:00.001-07:00

Justice Served

2009-02-13T10:33:00.003-07:00

I love it when evil, rotten people go to jail. Especially when those evil, rotten people were screwing up the lives of children and undermining the very idea of justice.

Here's the story. Two judges in Pennsylvania took more than $2.6 million in kickbacks for sending kids to private juvenile detention facilities. The judge who did the sentencing was sending kids to these facilities at two and a half times the rate of other juvenile court judges.

One girl got three months for creating a spoof web page that made fun of her assistant principal.

The judge - this representative of our government and symbol of all the power of the state - stole three months of the life of a teenage girl who committed a prank, all so he could line his greedy pockets with a few dollars.

He repeated that action literally thousands of times over the years this scam was running. No one knows how many years of how many young lives he stole to satisfy his greed.

If the court accepts the judges' plea bargain, the men will each serve 87 months in prison and lose their pensions. Honestly, that's too lenient. These men should be dropped in a hole for decades.

Quantum Leap

2009-02-12T17:15:00.005-07:00

The economy is worrisom. I think massive shifts have taken place beneath our feet, and we don't understand them yet.

Here's the thing. In my economics classes, I feel like we're studying the economy at the level of Newtonian physics. Which is all well and good, except that the level of understanding required to solve the current crisis is more like quantum physics.

Nobody in government understands the economy at the quantum level. A lot of people in government don't even understand it at the Newtonian level.

And some of the idjits in Congress still haven't even come to terms with the Law of Gravity yet.

It's a wee bit scary. And by wee bit, I mean oh fuck we're all going to die because the zombies are breaking down the door scary.

If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding under the bed. Please don't tell the zombies.

Things that I want to scream at people

2009-02-06T09:58:00.004-07:00

To all those Republicans who keep harping on tax cuts as stimulus:

PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE INCOMES DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT TAX CUTS!

Seriously, when you have no job and no income, you don't pay income taxes. Businesses with no orders coming in don't pay income taxes because they're losing money. High taxes are really, really, REALLY not the problem right now.

---

To all those hand-wringers and panty-twisters who are upset about Michael Phelps taking a hit off a bong:

GET OVER IT!

That picture is proof that marijuana is not the great evil. There's simply no good reason for liquor to be legal and marijuana to be illegal (other than the size of the Big Booze lobby).

Reefer madness was bad '50s propaganda. Just as lots of people can have a beer now and then and still accomplish great things, people can take a toke now and then and still go on to accomplish more than the hypocritical hand-wringers ever will.

---

To Andrew Card, former White House Chief of Staff, who dared to say this about Obama taking off his jacket in the Oval Office:

"The Oval Office symbolizes...the Constitution, the hopes and dreams, and I'm going to say democracy. And when you have a dress code in the Supreme Court and a dress code on the floor of the Senate, floor of the House, I think it's appropriate to have an expectation that there will be a dress code that respects the office of the President."

SHUT UP!

You and all your cronies took the Constitution - the document you all took an oath to defend - and you treated it like toilet paper. You showed no respect for the separation of powers, and you pissed all over the Bill of Rights.

You do not have the moral standing to speak about respect for the Constitution or for democracy. You should be doing penance, not having the unmitigated gall to squawk about dress codes. Go back to wherever you came from and keep silent until you're ready to issue an apology to the United States of America. There are simply no other words that I want to hear from you.

The Language of Beefcake

2009-02-05T16:08:00.002-07:00

Our dear friend Lynn expressed a desire to improve her Brazilian Portuguese. Because I think that it's very important to support our friends in their intellectual pursuits, I decided to suggest some potential tutors.

Happy random beefcake day!

I Love Claire McCaskill

2009-01-31T10:14:00.002-07:00

"We should've done it in the first place, but I don't think any of us thought these guys were this stupid. I don't think any of us believed they would take billions of dollars of bonuses while their institutions were literally days from being wiped out. But they did. And we've learned our lesson."

I don't know if McCaskill's bill to limit executive compensation at the companies receiving bailout money is exactly the answer, but hell's bells, I'm glad she stood up and stated what is obvious to the entire country outside of New York.

Delusional Self-Aggrandizing Sociopaths

2009-01-29T17:32:00.003-07:00

The news of late is full of delusional, self-aggrandizing, narcissistic, preening, sociopaths all reeking of an over-developed sense of entitlement and a disdain for the realities of the common world.

As far as I'm concerned, they can all rot in hell. I'm sick of them.

We got rid of one today with the impeachment of Rod Blagojevich. Though I doubt that will spare us from future media appearances with more self-comparisons to Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Gandhi.

Can we impeach all of Wall Street now? Seriously, these guys paid themselves $18.4 billion in bonuses in a year when they lost so much freaking money that the entire system is teetering on the edge of collapse, forcing us to inject hundreds of billions of taxpayer money.

John Thain, former CEO of Merrill Lynch, is the poster boy for this Wall Street narcissism. TPMMuckraker has a nice roundup of his many sins, including paying out billions in bonuses after Merrill Lynch lost $15 billion in a single quarter. Thain can definitely rot in hell, but he's not the only one.

It has been a delight that the former delusional sociopath-in-chief has been out of the news for the last week, but the tattered remnants of his party just can't seem to get off my television. What is with all these Republicans who have completely abdicated any responsibility for governance and turned themselves into the nah-nah no-no party? Not a single Republican voted for the stimulus bill in the House. They offered no viable alternatives. At best they offered more of the disastrous Bush policies that created this fetid economic swamp. And yet they still stood up and acted proud as punch over their obstinacy and idiocy.

I've simply lost all patience for all these idiots. Hang 'em high, and let's get on with letting reality-based grown-ups run the country again.

Things that make me happy

2009-01-21T09:40:00.002-07:00

I loved watching Barack and Michelle Obama dance at the inaugural balls last night. They not only seem to love one another, but to truly like and enjoy one another.

I am so ready to see a healthy, happy marriage in the White House. For eight years, Laura looked like a well-drugged stepford wife. Before that, you had the Clinton marriage with all its public humiliations. Then there were the elder Bushes, and frankly, Barbara scared me. The Reagans were certainly loving, but he always called her "Mommy," and that was just plain creepy.

The Obamas model a good modern marriage. They are strong people, and their strengths seem to complement one another. They radiate both affection and respect for one another. It's a lovely thing to see, and I think it will be very good for the country to have that kind of relationship front and center on the national stage.

***

I love that I feel like I can enjoy reading the news again. Yes, the news all sucks, what with financial collapse and war and the criminals of the Bush administration still preying on society, but I have some hope that there will be movement on all those fronts. No more constant doublespeak coming out of the White House helps a lot. I've no doubt that the Obama administration will spin a bit, but they won't make pronouncements that defy all logic, and that's a huge step forward.

***

It's schadenfreude, I know, but I loved seeing Dick Cheney stuck in that wheel chair at the Inauguration yesterday. The most evil and powerful vice-president in our history felled by a moving box (probably full of incriminating papers to shred). It's a wee bit of poetic justice. If I can't see him convicted and stuck in Gitmo, then at least I can picture him like a bitter and pathetic Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life. Although, I still want the war crimes tribunal.

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a few more days

2009-01-16T08:59:00.003-07:00

I am so sick of George W. Bush it makes my teeth hurt.

I am also sick and tired of obsessing over my own fragile mental health.

Maybe these things are connected. Is that such a crazy idea? I never needed anti-depressants before the chimp got appointed to the White House. Then he came in, and what happened? One national tragedy after another - 9/11, Iraq, Katrina, more Iraq, endless Iraq, the implosion of our financial system, and what else? Oh yeah, an all-out assault on our Constitution and entire system of justice and government.

Yes, I blame George W. Bush for my years of depression, anxiety and miscellaneous neuroses. He created an Orwellian atmosphere of up is down that has messed with the heads of thinking people across the country. He created a government that treats life as cheap, all while worshiping the so-called "culture of life." His entire administration has required a giant disconnect from reality that was bound to do mental damage.

What Bush broke, Obama can fix. I have to believe that. Everything will be better after Tuesday.

I expect Obama to make my brain better.

What? It's absolutely no more unrealistic than the all the other expectations people are putting on him, like fixing the economy and healthcare and our standing in the world and basically the entire government. If he's going to manage all that, he can definitely make me feel better.

That's my theory, anyway, and I'm sticking to it.

No idea what to write

2009-01-15T01:25:00.001-07:00

Seriously. I have no idea.

I didn't mean to stop blogging. I just don't know what to say anymore.

Phoebe Fay has been here for about three years. Three years of stuff. Crazy stuff, good stuff, bad stuff. Rants. Absurdities. And a little beefcake.

And now I feel a need for a change.

I just don't know what that change is going to be.

Random Thoughts

2008-12-15T10:08:00.006-07:00

My Christmas movie prediction: Valkyrie is going to suck. Not just suck in an ordinary humdrum lame-ass normal kind of way. It's going to suck at an epic level. It will suck in such a way that people will walk out of the theater sobbing with grief for the lost hours of their lives.

Anytime they start advertising a movie relentlessly a month before its release, you know it's going to be bad. Throw Tom Cruise into the mix and boom! You've got nuclear suckage.
---

For anybody who worried about a post-election dearth of comedy-worthy news, I offer up Rod Blagojableep. The guy's hair alone generates enough jokes for a week.
---

I despair of ever having four matching wineglasses. MP and I were in the kitchen last night, doing what might be charitably called dancing, and managed to topple my red wine, crashing the glass and sending fast-staining liquid across the counter. Fortunately, the stack of junk mail kept it from getting on anything really important.

Also, my Barbie-Dreamhouse kitchen is going to have granite countertops and no grout. No easily-stained, hard-to-clean, always-catching-crumbs frickin' frackin' grout!
---

Why is that every time Microsoft "improves" ones of its programs to make things "easier," the whole thing becomes an even bigger pain in the ass? I have MS Office 2007, and they replaced the nice, sensible drop-down menus with these stupid ribbon bars of commands that require you to look in six different places to find what you want. I liked my WordPerfect from 1992. All this new stuff is just a pain in the ass.
---

I don't actually know anything about this guy besides his name, Eduardo Verastegui, but he seemed to fit a random post. And look, a kitty!

Forgot One

2008-12-12T22:16:00.002-07:00

I can't believe I forgot this one. Especially since I'm such a sucker for blonds.

For Cissy - RDJ

2008-12-12T12:31:00.003-07:00

Cissy made a request for Robert Downey, Jr. Beefcake, and I was so very happy to oblige.

Happy Friday everybody!

Are you going to settle for a lousy A-minus? Minus?!

2008-12-10T10:29:00.002-07:00

I'm done with school, and I got an A in my statistics class and an A- in my math econ class.

Here's the angsty part. Because my professors have this crazy system where they drop a test grade, taking the final isn't mandatory. If you're happy with your grade, you're done. So I found out after the last test that I have an A-.

Now I could take the final, and if I did really, really well, I could boost my grade to an A. Of course, doing that would require hours and hours of studying and, what's worse, days and days of extra anxiety. Or, I could just do nothing and be content with an A-. Because really, getting an A- in a very hard class where many of my fellow students were struggling for Bs and Cs is not an insignificant accomplishment.

So, I'm opting to do nothing and take my A-. But I'm not content. I feel guilty. Because I have the chance for the A, and I'm not taking it. Just how obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive, perfectionism-plagued am I?

What do you think? Am I hopelessly insane or a hopeless slacker?

And of course, those two options are not mutually exclusive.

Bad blogger, sucky movies

2008-12-05T13:30:00.005-07:00

I've been a fuck-all terrible blogger lately. There's no excuse. I just haven't felt like it. Maybe it's the weather, the short days. I pretty much just want to hibernate.

I want to be a bear. I want to load up on carbs and fats and then sleep for four months and emerge in the spring skinny and hungry.

Mike was talking about facial hair the other. In general, I'm opposed. Sam Elliot is the exception that proves the rule.

That's a 'stache, and god love it. And if you can't grow one like that, then please don't try.

Else you wind up like Ed Norton and make movies like The Incredible Hulk.

I adore Ed Norton, but damn, that movie sucked. I even really love cheesy comic book action movies, but... ugh.

And speaking of super-cheesy comic book action movies that sucked, we watched Wanted the other day. Totally over-the-top plot, but James McAvoy looked quite good.

I knew the kid could act after seeing The Last King of Scotland, but I had no idea he could look so yummy. (Angelina Jolie, on the other hand, looked like she needed to eat a cheeseburger or 10. Really, she looked emaciated. I wanted to give her cookies.)

I feel like I should wrap this up somehow, bring it around, but... no. I'm just stopping it. Dropping it like a hot potato into your laps.

Happy Friday, my lovelies!

Random Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

2008-11-28T17:36:00.003-07:00

We had a lovely thanksgiving yesterday at MP's middle daughter's apartment. At the the tender of age of 22, she cooked a turkey dinner for 13 people, and it was delicious. I was wildly impressed. I wasn't brave enough to attempt such a feat until I was over 40. (And just for the record, I'm not likely to repeat the attempt.)

It was all very nice, although I think her husband's father is a bit of a jerk. I suppose there has to be one in every family, and if there's only one, you're doing pretty well. Still, it's annoying. Over the course of the afternoon, I witnessed him berate his stepson, give backhanded compliments to his wife, and tell his younger son that he was his favorite, right in front of his older son, all while playing the smiling nice guy.

At the end of the evening, I was in the kitchen helping clean up the dessert plates, and he came in to say good-bye, and said, "Thanks for doing all my work for me. Sorry I didn't help." What is the appropriate response to such a thing? The expected response was probably something along the lines of "that's okay," but I wasn't inclined to give him a pass. Really, in this day and age, what kind of over-indulged, pampered ass can't bestir himself to at least carry some plates into the kitchen?

Oh well, I'm thankful I don't have to cross paths with the guy very often.

Today, we'd planned to have a little wine-tasting party with MP's oldest daughter, but youngest daughter called earlier because she got a nasty stomach flu. MP went up to her place to take her some Gatorade. Poor girl couldn't keep anything down, and he didn't want to leave her alone. After spending a couple of hours up there, he bundled her up and brought her back here, and she finally seems to be getting some rest. She's been pretty miserable, but hopefully she's at the tail end of this.

Whenever something like this comes up, MP never grumbles or complains. He just does what he's got to do. I really love that about him. He's got his priorities straight. I'm thankful for that, too.

Tomorrow, we'll go up to my brother's house for turkey enchiladas. The enchiladas have become a post-Thanksgiving tradition for them, since my brother always insists on buying enormous turkeys which produce enough leftovers to feed a village in Africa for a week. It should be fun, and my other brother's family will be there, too, so we can all plan our Christmas strategy.

Christmas. Oh dear. Now I've gone and typed it, which means I have to acknowledge that it's damn near December. I don't like dealing with December.

Except for cookies. I like the cookie baking. Really, just baking in general. It's so wonderful how ordinary ingredients come together into such tasty treats. It's like chemistry, but mixed with magic!

I'm thankful for cookies, too. And for all of you. Hope you're all enjoying a glorious weekend!

Frustrations

2008-11-25T22:48:00.002-07:00

I would hate to be Barack Obama right now. What frustrations.

Here he is, still 50-some odd days away from the point where he'll have any actual power, and yet, he's the one who's got to somehow make our stock markets go up and restore consumer and international confidence.

Because let's face it, the current crop in office has abdicated. Dubya is barely up to the task of pardoning turkeys these days, Cheney is playing with his bionic parts in his undisclosed location, and Paulson just keeps throwing our money around with no clear plan. Flailing is not a plan, and all I see is flailing coming out of the Treasury Department.

The only thing we've got going for us is Obama, calmly rolling out an economic team and acting presidential, but can this possibly carry us through to January 20? Can he be like a Chanukah president, only instead of one day's oil lasting eight days, it'll be one week's hope lasting two months?

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! Eat well, and try not to poison the in-laws! And to those of you not getting a holiday tomorrow, have a little extra dessert anyway. The turkey says it's okay.

Economic Fantasies

2008-11-21T07:21:00.006-07:00

The other day in my class, we worked through some concepts and wound up with a very elegant proof of how capitalism is perfectly fair. I won't bother you with the math behind it, but it really was a lovely proof.

It drove home just what an elegant philosophy capitalism is.

Unfortunately, the assumptions on which the proof was based included things like a perfectly competitive market, perfect information and no government intervention. In other words, it's a great story. I appreciate it as a great story, just like I appreciate Genesis as a great story.

I just don't want to see policy based on that story anymore than I want to see policy based on the story of Adam and Eve.

It occurs to me that the faith so many put in the free market is not unlike the religious faith many politicians espouse. They maintain a steadfast public adherence to it, and then blithely ignore it when convenient, creating massive cognitive dissonance and a slew of bad policy.

This has been the great frustration of the last eight years for those of us who live in the "reality-based community." The Bush administration has based all of their decisions on some idea of how the world is that has very little in common with the way the world actually is.

The notion the we have a true free market is a fantasy. We need to stop basing policy on the notion that it exists. It's like relying on unicorn horns as a cure for cancer.

I don't know precisely what such a reality-based approach would look like. I don't expect it would give up on capitalism. But it might acknowledge capitalism needs an assist in the modern world. It might acknowledge the usefulness of a competent government role. It might encourage real competition and real transparency. It definitely would cease with rewarding incompetence and greed and fraud and all the rest that's gotten a pass with the bailout frenzy.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that perfect free market does exist. And maybe the Bible is literally true. And maybe I'm going to burn in hell for all eternity for my heresies.

But I'll take my chances.

And as for my fantasies, I'll keep them far away from Wall Street.

Happy Friday, everyone!

It's a Start

2008-11-18T18:13:00.003-07:00

Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzales indicted in S. Texas: Charges related to alleged abuse of prisoners in federal detention centers.

Let's just hope it's the first of many indictments to come. Because even though Washington seems to be all about reconciliation and letting bygones be bygones *cough* fuck Lieberman *cough*, I am not.

This administration has done real damage to real people, and there must be consequences. Let's take a page from the conservatives and remember you can't coddle criminals. You give 'em a break, and they just think they can do it all over again.

And if the current resident thinks he can wiggle around all this with some sort of blanket pardon, history will have to wait no time at all before declaring him the most venal creature ever to sully the rooms of the White House.

So, a toast to the folks on that Texas grand jury. May others follow your lead with indictments from coast to coast.

A week's silence

2008-11-16T18:14:00.004-07:00

I've had this screen open for an hour or more, and I've stared at it off and on, hoping something will come to me to write.

But nothing.

No, that's not true. There's one thing that's been pressing on my mind, wanting to be written. But I don't want to write it, I'm not even sure I should write it.

I'm worried about my mental health. Not because I'm having any particular problem, but rather, because I'm not.

For months and months, up until a couple of weeks ago, I was having serious anxiety. Almost daily, I would have periods where I felt almost paralyzed with anxiety, when it took all my energy just to remember to breathe. It got so bad, I even went to see a psychologist, who registered somewhere between worthless and pathetic in the effectiveness scale.

And then, one day, I woke up and felt fine. No anxiety, no free-floating worry, no tightening chest. Just normal, okay-dokey me. And no, this did not correspond to the election. It happened about a week before we finally got our smart president.

I don't mean to be an ingrate. I am very happy to have the anxiety gone. But I can't help wondering, why is it gone? My situation didn't change. My diet didn't change. The worthless psychologist didn't change anything. The anxiety just stopped.

I like to know reasons. I'm a fan of cause and effect. But I can't find that here, and that worries me. Because if the anxiety can disappear for no apparent reason, it can reappear, too, without warning. I don't like that idea.

I've wondered off and on over the years whether I could be bipolar. The depression side of the equation I know. The up side? I'm uncertain. I've never had the severe mania that one usually thinks of, but still, there have been highs, and there have been times of utterly unwarranted optimism, not infrequently corresponding with bad judgment. It remains a possibility.

And what if it is? What does that mean? What would I do with the information if I received a diagnosis?

The truth is, I would do nothing differently. I wouldn't take medication. I hated - hated, hated, HATED! - taking antidepressants. Yes, they pulled me back from the brink when I couldn't bring myself back. But at such a cost. I never want to take them again, and I don't even want to think about the crap they push for bipolar. All the books I've read about bipolar insist on the concept of medication, despite terrible side effects. There's an orthodoxy surrounding the idea that I cannot trust. My faith in modern medicine is shaky at best and non-existent when it comes to psychiatry.

So, in the end, it doesn't really matter, does it? If I had the information, I wouldn't act on it. I'd just continue to do what I've done so far... watch my diet, take my vitamins and supplements, watch my thoughts, watch out for stress. Maybe I'd be more careful about getting sleep, be more conscientious about getting exercise. Maybe I'll do that anyway.

And now I still wonder, should I hit publish? Perhaps I shouldn't, but I will anyway. This is my space. This is how I work things out in my head. And while it may be tedious for you all, having me blather about my craziness, it's part of the truth. And if I can't write the truth, I can't write squat.

And now that I've written it, I hope I can get back to some other truths soon.

Life After Election

2008-11-09T18:21:00.002-07:00

There really is life after this endless campaign. How amazing is that?

For a couple days there, I actually got some things accomplished. I started to think about projects that have been put off. Today, MP and I had a lovely, leisurely day without ever once turning on the news. We read the comics and ignored the rest of the paper. We went out to lunch and then hung out at the Barnes and Noble.

I added a book to my Christmas list: The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell. You wouldn't think a book about Puritans would be so delightfully funny, but I chuckled my way through the few pages I read. I really want to write a review of the book, but seeing as I haven't even purchased it, much less read it, that's a wee bit premature. But Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon has actually read it, and her review is here.

It's so nice to have the mental space to think about these things. No more obsessively tracking the election, no more constantly worrying about the future of our country. Now I can breathe. We've elected a leader, a real leader that I have some trust in. It's so freeing.

Not that we can just sit back and be apathetic. I know we still need to be engaged and informed. The fixes for our country won't be easy. But the nature of that engagement feels so much more pleasant, so much less embattled. The whole atmosphere feels healthier already.

The one thing that is less healthy today than last week is the environment for gays and lesbians, and that bothers me. I'm still stunned that Prop 8 passed in California. It's so wrong, and it has to change. I really believe this is the civil rights issue of our generation.

I'm rambling here. I like being able to ramble. Happy Sunday. Happy future.

Doing the Happy Dance

2008-11-07T10:54:00.002-07:00

I think these sum up my feelings about this week.

Happy Friday, everybody!

President-Elect Barack Obama

2008-11-05T07:58:00.004-07:00

I am happy this morning. Hopeful. Excited about the future.

Last night, watching the returns, watching as it became crystal clear that Barack Obama would be our next president, I just kept letting it sink in. We're going to have a smart president. We're going to have a president I respect. We're going to have a president who won't be an absolute embarrassment on the world stage.

It really happened.

I am still a little stunned.

But as promised, beefcake returns:

Is that not a beautiful sight?

The scene is not all goodness this morning. It looks like California's Prop 8 has passed, stripping marriage rights from California's gay citizens. It is a reminder that we still have much work to do in this country to ensure equal rights for all.

But to end on a happy note, think on this. Sarah Palin is well on her way to becoming nothing more than a future Trivial Pursuit question.

Today

2008-11-04T08:34:00.004-07:00

Vote!

If you're an Obama supporter, and you haven't voted yet, get your ass to the polls now!

If you're a McCain supporter, don't bother with the polls. Just beat yourself in the head with a hammer. It will have the same feeling as a McCain presidency, but without inflicting your masochism on the rest of us.

And finally, if you're still undecided, go vote Obama and then seek therapy. Because if you're still undecided after all this time, you have problems far beyond what politicians can fix.

That's it. No more beefcake until we're done electing Obama.

My Guilty Pleasure

2008-10-31T13:41:00.004-06:00

Since MP has been out of town this week, I've indulged in one of my few guilty pleasures. Yes, I've watched hours and hours of Smallville episodes.

I know it's silly and cheesy, but I just love it. It satisfies both my little kid fascination with superheroes and my dirty old woman admiration for strapping young men who go shirtless at least once an episode.

Lately, they've had several episodes featuring Oliver Queen aka The Green Arrow played by Justin Hartley. Is this guy adorable or what?

Pretty, huh? Makes me feel like quite the damsel in distress.

And by the way, this post is post number 666! So, Happy Beefcake and Happy Friday and may all your weenies be hallowed!

On Not Getting Complacent

2008-10-28T18:08:00.004-06:00

If anybody worries that Democrats are getting too comfortable with Obama's lead in the polls, they only have to look at these pictures from a rally in Chester, PA. A little rain wasn't about to stop either the candidate or his supporters.

And the McCain camp? The rain inspired them to cancel their outdoor rally in Quakertown, PA. Apparently, they melt.

Pictures swiped from Shakespeare's Sister.

Seriousness Gap

2008-10-28T13:06:00.004-06:00

This morning, TPM Election Central used the phrase Seriousness Gap, and it was like a flash for me. That one phrase encapsulates all my frustrations about this campaign.

There is a real seriousness gap. The McCain camp is simply not serious. They don't present serious policies. They don't do serious debate. All they do is campaign stunts. Their entire argument is "don't trust Obama," but the only way they make it is to deliberately distort Obama's positions and statements. All they have are lies and smears and innuendo.

There are real meat-and-potatoes arguments to be made about things like the appropriate level of taxation. I'm sure there are thoughtful arguments against Obama's tax plan that can be made by conservative thinkers. I doubt I'd agree with such arguments, but I can see how they would be made, and it would be interesting to see real debate on the issue.

But the McCain camp isn't even trying to make those arguments. They've given up on presenting any coherent argument and have settled for just repeatedly calling Obama a socialist. They've decided that's their dirty word du jour, and they're using it. They've got their little fired-up base repeating it ad nauseum, but of course, if you asked any of those McCainiacs what the word actually means, you'd get a mad jumble of words that would probably conclude with terrorist baby-killer.

The argument that Obama is a socialist is just so absurd that arguing against it is boring. It's like cheating at Go Fish. What's the point?

I so can't wait until this thing is over. I want a President Obama. I want a grown-up in the White House. I want a president who doesn't smirk and swagger when things go his way and pout like a spoiled brat when they don't. I want a serious government again.

One more week. We can get there. Go vote!

This is from the rally in Denver on Sunday. I thought about going, but opted to stay home, in part because being in really large crowds is stressful for me. In the end, that worked out, since 100,000 of my fellow Coloradoans picked up my slack. Instead, I showed my support on Friday in more intimate surroundings. It was just me, Barack and the voting booth (and Mark Udall and a bunch of other Democrats plus six million amendments - in truth, it was kind of crowded in there).

State of Being

2008-10-27T22:06:00.002-06:00

Blah.

Bleeah.

Bleahahahghgh.

That pretty much sums up how I'm doing tonight. Hope y'all are better.

There, maybe that helped.

This election may kill me

2008-10-24T09:55:00.004-06:00

I am not sure sometimes how I am going to make it through the next 11 days. My anxiety levels are sky high. My productivity is plummeting. I read news about the election compulsively. I am constantly sidetracked by the latest poll and the latest outrageous thing spewing from the mouth of Caribou Barbie or Grampy McCrankypants.

Could there possibly be some forgotten superhero out there who can save me from the torment of my own mind?

How about you, Green Hornet?

Captain America?

Or maybe Captain Marvel?

That's Van Williams, who played the Green Hornet in the '60s, Reb Brown, who played the wonderfully cheesy Captain America in the '70s, and finally, Tom Tyler, who played Captain Marvel way, way back in the day.

Happy Friday, everybody!

Okay, one more Van Williams, just for giggles:

Sarah Palin, Democrat Plant?

2008-10-22T08:12:00.004-06:00

New theory: Sarah Palin is all part of Barack Obama's secret plan to force the destruction of the Republican Party.

First, the latest NBC/Wall Street Journal poll shows that she is the biggest concern people have about the McCain ticket.

The same poll shows that 55 percent don't believe she's qualifed to be president.

And then there's this:

Yes, that scarf says vote, and yes, those appear to be donkeys on it. Now, it's entirely possible that Sarah is too oblivious to realize that donkeys are the symbol of the Democratic Party, but somebody on her staff surely knew. So, there it is, she's working for the Dems!

Smart People for Obama

2008-10-21T10:47:00.002-06:00

So, y'all probably know that Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama on Sunday.

Immediately, that increasing irrelevant bloviating douchebag known as Rush Limbaugh cried out that it was all about race, that the only reason Powell endorsed Obama was because they're both black.

Well, sure, what other possible reason could a conservative have for supporting Obama?

In other news, did you know that Ken "Iraq will be a cakewalk" Adelman, Christopher Buckley, conservative radio host Michael Smerconish, and the conservative mayor of London, Boris Johnson, are all black?

I Am a Real American

2008-10-19T09:22:00.004-06:00

Sarah Palin has her ideas about what is real America:

We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.

McCain surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer, when faced with bad poll numbers for traditionally-conservative Virginia, insisted that McCain was winning in the "real Virginia," just not that northern tip where all those D.C. types have moved.

Finally, Michelle Bachmann, Minnesota Republican and wingnut extraordinaire, went on Hardball and basically accused all liberals of being anti-American. I'd quote, but you have to see it to believe it.

It is long past time for these wannabe fascists to understand that the Real America is something much bigger and much greater than their tiny little minds can comprehend. The Real America is real people of every color and creed, every size and shape, living in big cities and small, working with their hands and their minds, old and young, conservative and, yes, liberal.

I am a real American, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and let these Republicans say otherwise.

I love this country. It is my home. I respect this country. I respect it enough to want the best from it. I am a citizen and a patriot.

When the president takes the oath of office, he pledges to "preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

I believe that should be our primary duty as citizens as well. We should defend the Constitution, which means we should read it and understand it, and we should fight vigorously against anything which goes against its letter or its spirit. We must know the rights granted by our Constitution, and we must fight for those rights, for ourselves and for all people. We must vote and participate in our democracy, and we must make our voices known.

This is what it means to be a Real American. It has nothing to do with what political party we favor or where we live or what clothes we wear or what music we listen to. And it absolutely, positively, goddamned does not have anything to do with the color of our skin.

So, Sarah Palin and John McCain and all your minions, listen up. I am a Real American, and I vote. And I am voting for Barack Obama.

Dismiss me at your peril.

Wingnuts Sure Are Funny (and Beefcake!)

2008-10-17T11:19:00.004-06:00

I love it when paranoia and ignorance combine to reveal right-wing nutjobs to be exactly as nutty as I think they are.

See, Obama was giving a speech in Ohio yesterday, and he was standing in front of a bunch of flags, as politicians are wont to do. One of the flags had an "O" on it. Here's what right-wing radio jabberer Bob Grant had to say about that:

But really folks, did you notice Obama is not content with just having several American flags, plain old American flags with the 50 states represented by 50 stars? He has the "O" flag. And that's what that "O" is. That's what that "O" is. Just like he did with the plane he was using. He had the flag painted over, and the "O" for Obama. Now, these are symptom -- these things are symptomatic of a person who would like to be a potentate -- a dictator. And I really see this in this man.

Only problem is, turns out, that flag with the O on it was the Ohio state flag.

O also stands for oops!

Now, in a nice little segue, I was looking for appropriate illustrations for this post when I discovered there is something called Beach Flag competitions. I'm not sure what the rules are for this event or even what the point is, but I don't care. It makes for some very nice pictures.

Happy Friday, everybody!

And now for fun!

2008-10-16T12:00:00.004-06:00

Colonel Colonel pointed out to me the Sarah Palin Name Generator!

My name comes up WMD Cessna Palin, and MP's is Puck Mule Palin.

I don't think either holds a candle to this one:

John McCain, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Steam Fangs Palin

Who knows, Steam Fangs Palin you just might be president one day!

Actually, Steams Fangs, you don't stand a chance. But thanks for playing!

(Random beefcakey picture inserted for no reason other than our viewing pleasure.)

Screaming at the TV

2008-10-15T21:02:00.003-06:00

Because I am a masochistic geek, I watched the third and thankfully final presidential debate. It was more or less on par with sandpaper dildos in the good ideas department.

The absolute low point for me was when McCain was talking about abortion, he spoke sarcastically about Obama supporting health of the mother exceptions in late term abortion bans. He put the word "health" in little air quotes and spoke with smug snideness.

I screamed "fuck you" at the TV. Then I paused the TV and screamed it again. About a dozen times. I think there were some other phrases in there, none of them complimentary to McCain.

It was my tipping point. He'd been snide and sneering through much of the debate, but to see him mock the notion that the health of the mother should be considered to determine the need for a late-term abortion put me over the edge. Why does he think women ever have late-term abortions? How much does he hate women that he would mock their attempts to guard their health in what are always horrible, difficult situations.

So, fuck you, John McCain. Fuck you, and three weeks from today, I hope you disappear into ignominy, and I hope I never have to hear your name again.

Quote of the Day

2008-10-15T10:38:00.003-06:00

"I'm gonna hate him the minute I vote for him. He's gonna be a bad president. But I won't ever vote for another god-damn Republican. I want the government to take over all of Wall Street and bankers and the car companies and Wal-Mart run this county like we used to when Reagan was President."

--54 year-old white male, voted Kerry '04, Bush '00, Dole '96, hunter, NASCAR fan and voting for Obama.

I got nothin' to add here, nothin' at all.

Gobbledygook

2008-10-14T19:06:00.003-06:00

I've been trying to write a post about Sarah Palin's reaction to the Branchflower report on her ethics violations in Alaska, but... well, here's the first finding of the report:

For the reasons explained in section IV of this report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act. Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) provides

"The legislature reaffirms that each public offer holds office as a public trust, and any effort to benefit a personal or financial interest through official action is a violation of that trust."

That's pretty clear cut, right?

So how does Governor Wingnut respond?

Well, I'm very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing, any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that.

Huh?

Trying to reconcile that statement with the actual report has resulted in the loss of many braincells, and my attempts to write anything coherent about have all come out as glis vloop agmack blee bloo floop.

So I give up.

Down and Dirty Beefcake

2008-10-10T00:20:00.003-06:00

Politics is proving to be down and dirty this year, but not as down and dirty as our beefcake.

And I realize that Eddie Izzard is not usually what we think of when we think of beefcake, but he does make me laugh, and laughter is sexy. Plus, it's a great mud picture.

Also, welcome to the world little Angry Ginger! Here's to all the mudpies and puddle-stomping in your bright and beautiful future!

Classless Asshole

2008-10-02T13:27:00.002-06:00

McCain is one of the least gracious people on the planet.

Let the record reflect that Barack Obama made the approach to John McCain tonight.

As the two shared the Senate floor tonight for the first time since they won their party nominations, Obama stood chatting with Democrats on his side of the aisle, and McCain stood on the Republican side of the aisle.

So Obama crossed over into enemy territory.

He walked over to where McCain was chatting with Republican Sen. Mel Martinez of Florida and Independent Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut. And he stretched out his arm and offered his hand to McCain.

McCain shook it, but with a “go away” look that no one could miss. He tried his best not to even look at Obama.

Finally, with a tight smile, McCain managed a greeting: “Good to see you.”

Obama got the message. He shook hands with Martinez and Lieberman — both of whom greeted him more warmly — and quickly beat a retreat back to the Democratic side.

Random Beefcake to Shove That Last Post Down the Page

2008-10-02T12:59:00.001-06:00

I hate not being perfect

2008-10-01T20:43:00.003-06:00

I didn't do well on a test today. The very first question threw me, and pretty much my only hope is that the professor grades on a curve.

I hate this. I've been riddled with anxiety ever since I got home. The voice in my head that delights in telling me what a failure I am is practically chortling.

I know it's not rational. But that doesn't make it feel any less real.

I hate this feeling. It just makes me want to shut down, to give up, to not even try. It's toxic perfectionism. I know it's not healthy. I know it's not rational.

I just wish I knew how to make it go away.

And I wish it would stop asking me why I ever thought going back to school was a good idea.

Republicans are Big Fat Babies

2008-09-29T22:25:00.005-06:00

McCain in the morning took credit for the passage of the Bailout Bill. Basically said it was going to pass because he suspended (not really) his campaign and went to Washington (eventually) and rolled up his sleeves (not really) and got to work (sat silent in a chair) and delivered the plan (made a few phone calls from house #three or four).

All credit goes to McCain!

And this afternoon, when the bill went down in flames, all blame goes to those big mean Democrats!

"From the minute John McCain suspended his campaign and arrived in Washington to address this crisis, he was attacked by the Democratic leadership: Senators Obama and Reid, Speaker Pelosi and others," Holtz-Eakin said. "Their partisan attacks were an effort to gain political advantage during a national economic crisis. By doing so, they put at risk the homes, livelihoods and savings of millions of American families."

The adviser also blamed remarks delivered by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, chastising President Bush's free market economic policies, for pushing Republicans away from the bill.

"Barack Obama failed to lead, phoned it in, attacked John McCain, and refused to even say if he supported the final bill," Holtz-Eakin said. "Just before the vote, when the outcome was still in doubt, Speaker Pelosi gave a strongly worded partisan speech and poisoned the outcome. This bill failed because Barack Obama and the Democrats put politics ahead of country."

In other words, waaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Republicans are supposed to be super-duper tough and able to face down terrorists and disembowel Osama bin Laden with the bare hands, right? But then, Nancy Pelosi gives a speech and all their dicks shrivel up and fall off? Pathetic.

Also, Rachel Maddow had a good point on her show tonight. Who the hell is in charge of those Grand Old Pantysniffers? It's patently obvious that neither McCain nor Bush have any influence with the party they theoretically lead. The Congressional leadership seems equally impotent. I thought the one thing Republicans were supposed to be good at was party discipline, but now it's pretty much apparent that it's a just a feces-flinging free-for-all.

Absolutely Right

2008-09-27T15:01:00.005-06:00

A lot of people are criticizing Barack Obama for having agreed with John McCain a half dozen times in last night's debate. The Republicans pounced on the phrases and immediately put out a mocking ad with the lines. Democrats fussed and worried that Obama wasn't tough enough.

Respectfully, I have to say they're all idiots.

What Obama was doing in last night's debate was demonstrating his governing style and his confidence and comfort in his own ideas. In each of the cases where he said, "John is right," he used the phrase to demonstrate a mutual acceptance of a problem, and then he demonstrated how his solution or reaction differed from McCain's. It demonstrates his ability to listen, his ability to seek common ground, his ability to recognize reality. This is strength.

People who cannot show graciousness, who cannot acknowledge even the slightest level of agreement with their opponents, who cannot even look them in the eye, are weak. Profoundly weak. And profoundly unsuited for the leadership of the United States.

Personally, I think Obama agreeing with McCain is fine whenever he's following up that agreement with points like these:

I think Senator McCain's absolutely right that we need more responsibility, but we need it not just when there's a crisis. I mean, we've had years in which the reigning economic ideology has been what's good for Wall Street, but not what's good for Main Street....

Senator McCain is absolutely right that the earmarks process has been abused, which is why I suspended any requests for my home state, whether it was for senior centers or what have you, until we cleaned it up.
And he's also right that oftentimes lobbyists and special interests are the ones that are introducing these kinds of requests, although that wasn't the case with me.
But let's be clear: Earmarks account for $18 billion in last year's budget. Senator McCain is proposing -- and this is a fundamental difference between us -- $300 billion in tax cuts to some of the wealthiest corporations and individuals in the country, $300 billion.
Now, $18 billion is important; $300 billion is really important....

Now, John mentioned the fact that business taxes on paper are high in this country, and he's absolutely right. Here's the problem: There are so many loopholes that have been written into the tax code, oftentimes with support of Senator McCain, that we actually see our businesses pay effectively one of the lowest tax rates in the world.
And what that means, then, is that there are people out there who are working every day, who are not getting a tax cut, and you want to give them more.
It's not like you want to close the loopholes. You just want to add an additional tax cut over the loopholes. And that's a problem....

John is right we have to make cuts. We right now give $15 billion every year as subsidies to private insurers under the Medicare system. Doesn't work any better through the private insurers. They just skim off $15 billion. That was a give away and part of the reason is because lobbyists are able to shape how Medicare works.
They did it on the Medicaid prescription drug bill and we have to change the culture. Tom -- or John mentioned me being wildly liberal. Mostly that's just me opposing George Bush's wrong headed policies since I've been in Congress but I think it is that it is also important to recognize I work with Tom Coburn, the most conservative, one of the most conservative Republicans who John already mentioned to set up what we call a Google for government saying we'll list every dollar of federal spending to make sure that the taxpayer can take a look and see who, in fact, is promoting some of these spending projects that John's been railing about....

Senator McCain is absolutely right that the violence has been reduced as a consequence of the extraordinary sacrifice of our troops and our military families.
They have done a brilliant job, and General Petraeus has done a brilliant job. But understand, that was a tactic designed to contain the damage of the previous four years of mismanagement of this war.
And so John likes -- John, you like to pretend like the war started in 2007. You talk about the surge. The war started in 2003, and at the time when the war started, you said it was going to be quick and easy. You said we knew where the weapons of mass destruction were. You were wrong.
You said that we were going to be greeted as liberators. You were wrong. You said that there was no history of violence between Shiite and Sunni. And you were wrong....

And, John, I -- you're absolutely right that presidents have to be prudent in what they say. But, you know, coming from you, who, you know, in the past has threatened extinction for North Korea and, you know, sung songs about bombing Iran, I don't know, you know, how credible that is. I think this is the right strategy.
Now, Senator McCain is also right that it's difficult. This is not an easy situation. You've got cross-border attacks against U.S. troops.
And we've got a choice. We could allow our troops to just be on the defensive and absorb those blows again and again and again, if Pakistan is unwilling to cooperate, or we have to start making some decisions.
And the problem, John, with the strategy that's been pursued was that, for 10 years, we coddled Musharraf, we alienated the Pakistani population, because we were anti-democratic. We had a 20th-century mindset that basically said, "Well, you know, he may be a dictator, but he's our dictator."
And as a consequence, we lost legitimacy in Pakistan. We spent $10 billion. And in the meantime, they weren't going after al Qaeda, and they are more powerful now than at any time since we began the war in Afghanistan....

So obviously, our policy over the last eight years has not worked. Senator McCain is absolutely right, we cannot tolerate a nuclear Iran. It would be a game changer. Not only would it threaten Israel, a country that is our stalwart ally, but it would also create an environment in which you could set off an arms race in this Middle East.
Now here's what we need to do. We do need tougher sanctions. I do not agree with Senator McCain that we're going to be able to execute the kind of sanctions we need without some cooperation with some countries like Russia and China that are, I think Senator McCain would agree, not democracies, but have extensive trade with Iran but potentially have an interest in making sure Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapon.
But we are also going to have to, I believe, engage in tough direct diplomacy with Iran and this is a major difference I have with Senator McCain, this notion by not talking to people we are punishing them has not worked. It has not worked in Iran, it has not worked in North Korea. In each instance, our efforts of isolation have actually accelerated their efforts to get nuclear weapons. That will change when I'm president of the United States.

Suspending Beefcake Friday in this Time of Crisis

2008-09-26T10:43:00.002-06:00

Happy Friday, everyone!

Suspension of Disbelief

2008-09-25T14:56:00.006-06:00

McCain suspends his campaign! Suspends it because there's a crisis going on! Why didn't somebody tell him there was a crisis going on? It's nuclear holocaust! Only with dollars instead of bombs!

Yeah, there's this crisis. Essentially, it's the same crisis that has been building for a year and was utterly predictable well before that. But McCain didn't notice before because it was all boring economics, which, you know, is just not his strong suit. But now he knows there's a crisis, so by golly, he's gonna do something!

So McCain suspended his campaign so he could rush off to Washington, and he's threatening not to go to the first presidential debate tomorrow night because there's a CRISIS! And he just doesn't have time for these silly debate things! He's being crisis-y!

Mind you, he did take time out of his busy, busy, crisis-y schedule to do interviews on all the major networks tonight. Oh, and he taped an interview with Katie Couric yesterday. And he spoke at the Clinton Global Initiative. And he met with former Clintonite Lady Lynn Forester de "really relates to rednecks" Rothschild. But other than that, he totally suspended his campaign and he's rolling up his sleeves in Washington!

There was, however, a slight delay in his knuckling down to work. It's just he had trouble remembering where his office was. This is NOT an age issue. He just hadn't been there in while. In fact, he hasn't been present for a senate vote in more than six months. But all those other bills he couldn't be bothered to vote on? Those weren't crisis-y! McCain is all about the crisis.

McCain finally did get into Washington today, and he was at the big meeting with the president and everybody, and according to sources, he did his big mavericky work by not really saying anything as everybody came to a general agreement, and then at the very end, he piped up and expressed reservations about the whole thing.

Chris Dodd was not amused: "What happened here, basically, if you want an honest appraisal of the thing, we have been spending a lot of time and I am tired. I have spent almost seven straight days at this in trying to come out with a workout plan for our economy a rescue plan," said Dodd. "What this looked like to me was a rescue plan for John McCain for two hours and took us away from the work we are trying to do today. Serious people trying to do serious work to come up with an answer."

Gee, it's almost like he doesn't want a resolution to this thing. But of course, he wants a resolution. He wants it all settled, so he can jump into that debate tomorrow night! Right! Right?

P.S. The one event he did cancel was David Letterman, and Letterman was not a happy camper.

I am a bad blogger

2008-09-23T12:06:00.006-06:00

Sorry I haven't been around lately. Between painting the kitchen and family room (and hall and one wall of the library because it was easier to paint them than to deal with rounded corners ), and having a nasty cold (if snot were cash, I'd be able to bail out Wall Street myself), and school and various and sundry other things, I just haven't had a chance to write.

And besides, I don't know what I'd write. I don't know what to think about the giant bailout the feds are trying to ram down our throats. I'm flabbergasted. Flumberblasted. Flibbertripped. And floomdoggled.

I will note, however, that after a weekend of lobbying, Paulson decided to include foreign banks in his bailout proposal. The biggest beneficiaries of this would be Barclays and UBS. McCain BFF Phil "no whiners!" Gramm is the vice chairman UBS and handles their US lobbying. Oh, and he's also in line to be treasury secretary in a McCain administration. But, I'm sure there's no conflict of interest there. No sirree. No ways or means. Nope. Nuh-uh.

And if you believe that, I'd like to sell you a bridge in Alaska.

In a more positive development, Chris Dodd has an alternative to Paulson's plan (which amounts to "give us the money and then fuck off"), and Paul Krugman seems to like it.

Karma

2008-09-16T20:59:00.004-06:00

I love karma. Especially when it bites the nasty, vicious asses of Republican delegates.

Here's the story. Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, sadly a sucker of oxygen in my own beloved state, went off to St. Paul and cheered on McCain and happily gave interviews where he proclaimed that he wanted less taxes and more wars.

Specifically, he wants to bomb Iran, "hopefully just bomb the hell out of them, no troops." When asked how to pay for all this bombing, he said we should take their resources. "We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money. We deserve reimbursement."

Seriously. He said that. Exactly that. With a smarmy smirk on his face. You can see it here. Have a barf bag near at hand.

This guy is vile, but karma came along and planted her own flag on his pimply ass and took him for a boatload of money.

See, the suave and smooth Schwartz was out drinking in the wee hours after the official Republican reach around. He met an attractive woman in a bar and foolishly thought she was interested in his massive studliness. He took her back to his room, where she made him a drink and told him to get undressed, and that's the last he remembers.

Ms. Karma slipped him a mickey and got away with a massive haul, including a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000, a Prada belt valued at $1,000 and some cash and other goodies.

If there is any justice in the world, Ms. Karma will never get caught, and Mr. Schwartz will have been heavily invested in Lehman Bros.

Signs of the Times

2008-09-14T12:02:00.004-06:00

McCain/Palin = Unstable/Unable

This was my favorite sign from an anti-Palin rally in Anchorage. Full story at Daily Kos.

Other good ones included "McCain/Palin - Incontinence and Incompetence" and "Blink before going to war."

"They All Lie"

2008-09-13T11:09:00.002-06:00

I've been hearing some variation of "but all politicians lie" quite a bit lately while pursuing the topic of McCain's egregious, dishonorable and disgusting attacks based on lies, and it occurs to me that this attitude is a triumph of Rovian politics.

As long as the people have the attitude that "everybody lies," then anything is taken as equivalent. A different interpretation of a policy is somehow equivalent to repeatedly stating something that is objectively, verifiably untrue.

This is like saying a husband who looks at an attractive woman in public is equivalent to a husband who seeks out hookers every weekend. This is like saying the corporate prankster who replaces the regular coffee with decaf is equivalent to the disgruntled employee who takes a shotgun to the office.

Any sane person is aware that these things are not equal.

Unfortunately, the media has tended to have this definition of "fair" that says just point out one bad thing each candidate did and call it balanced. So we wind up with a situation where Obama says he'll offer tax cuts to 95 percent of working families, and the media says that if you look at the statistics differently, it's only a tax break for 81 percent of the people. Then the media points to Palin's claim to have stopped the bridge to nowhere - a lie that the campaign repeats day in and day out even though it has been debunked repeatedly. Then they act as if the two issues are equivalent.

But they're NOT EQUIVALENT!

Using an interpretation of statistics that is accurate, but more favorable than another interpretation of statistics is NOT the same thing as lying day in and day out about something that is the cornerstone of your campaign!

Not not not not NOT the same.

But the drumbeat that all politicians lie does its work. It pushes people into cynicism and causes them to ignore the real issues. It breaks my heart because the issues are simply too important to ignore and the differences between these two candidates are too vast to say it doesn't matter.

The McCain-Palin campaign lies. Day in and day out. The whole essence of Palin's image as a reformer is predicated on a series of lies. Their attacks on Obama are mostly based on lies.

The Obama campaign doesn't do this. Of course, people will disagree about interpretations. Of course, people will make mistakes on the details sometimes. And of course, Obama will present facts in the way that best highlights what he's trying to communicate. That's the nature of politics and persuasion. But, he doesn't stand at a podium and repeat proven lies day after day. And that matters.

Okay. End of rant. Now just a little bit of Tilda for Cissy:

Burn After Reading

2008-09-12T12:14:00.005-06:00

This may not strictly meet the requirements of beefcake, but today's all about Burn After Reading, the new Coen brothers film starring Brad Pitt and George Clooney. I can't wait to see it!*

There's just something so charming about Brad Pitt looking like a doofus.

And then, of course, there's George Clooney, and he's always charming. I even liked Leatherheads, thanks to George.

Even if it sucks, I'm bound to like it. Of course, since it's a Coen Brothers movie, the odds of suckage are slim to disappearing.

Happy Friday!

* Okay, technically, I can wait to see it, and in fact, I will wait to see it because MP's out of town this weekend. But I won't wait long.

McCain's healthcare plan

2008-09-11T18:39:00.003-06:00

Tonight, feeling obviously in need of self-punishment, I actually went and *read* John McCain's healthcare plan. Now, I assumed going into it that his plan would suck. But I discovered it didn't suck. It couldn't suck. Because it doesn't exist.

McCain's plan for healthcare is to make a plan. Seriously, that's the plan. He plans to make a plan. Read for yourself:

A Specific Plan of Action: Ensuring Care for Higher Risk Patients

John McCain's Plan Cares For The Traditionally Uninsurable. John McCain understands that those without prior group coverage and those with pre-existing conditions have the most difficulty on the individual market, and we need to make sure they get the high-quality coverage they need.

John McCain Will Work With States To Establish A Guaranteed Access Plan. As President, John McCain will work with governors to develop a best practice model that states can follow - a Guaranteed Access Plan or GAP - that would reflect the best experience of the states to ensure these patients have access to health coverage. One approach would establish a nonprofit corporation that would contract with insurers to cover patients who have been denied insurance and could join with other state plans to enlarge pools and lower overhead costs. There would be reasonable limits on premiums, and assistance would be available for Americans below a certain income level.

John McCain Will Promote Proper Incentives. John McCain will work with Congress, the governors, and industry to make sure this approach is funded adequately and has the right incentives to reduce costs such as disease management, individual case management, and health and wellness programs.

There you go. No actual plan other than a plan to talk to some other people about making a plan.

I was going to post Obama's plan as a contrast, but because it's an actual plan with actual concrete ideas, it runs rather long. You can read it yourself here, if you are so inclined.

Healthcare in this country is a disaster for too many people. McCain has no clue. He's been the recipient of government-provided healthcare for his entire life, but he doesn't want the American people to have the kind of care he takes for granted. It's still shocking to me that that this race is even close.

Never Assume They Can't Sink Lower

2008-09-11T09:45:00.003-06:00

They can always sink lower. There is no limit to the depths to which Republicans will sink in attempts to fix an election.

The latest tactic being suggested by Michigan Republicans is challenging voters at the polls based on foreclosure records. Yes, that's right, kiddies. The GOP is going after the people most screwed by the economy they created by trying to take away their vote as well as their houses.

The Republicans have no issues on which to run. All their ideas have proven failures. They cannot win an election fair and square, so they resort to tactics like this. It's voter suppression, and it's targeted at the most vulnerable people in our society.

These Republican operatives are vile. Simply vile.

Uppity

2008-09-10T08:23:00.002-06:00

Last week, Republican Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland called Barack and Michelle Obama "uppity."

Yesterday, another Georgia Republican, Rick Goddard, called MSNBC reporter Ron Allen "uppity" for daring to ask Newt Gingrich a question at the Republican convention last week. Yes, Allen is black.

The official line from both these men is that the word uppity has no racial connotation whatsoever. None. Zip. Nada.

They are liars, plain and simple.

Anyone over the age of 40 knows full well the connotation of uppity. It means acting above your station and not knowing your place. It's a word that doesn't get used against white men. It's a word that almost always was followed by another word that began with n. And no, that word wasn't nitwit.

Maybe it's fallen out of use, and maybe there are 20-somethings out there unaware of the longtime connotation of uppity. Maybe.

But for old white guys from the South to make the argument that they didn't mean anything racial by it? No. They are liars. Plain and simple.

I don't know what the GOP is up to with this game, but it can't be pretty. They're making overt racial comments and trying to pass that off as mainstream commentary. It's ugly. Maybe they just know they have no future, and they're just making a last ditch effort at roiling up the racial resentments that served them so well for so long.

The Final Straw

2008-09-09T17:54:00.003-06:00

Up until now, I've supposed that, if somebody held a gun to my head and a knife to my throat and a red hot poker to my backside, I could deal with Sarah Palin, even though she's a mean, ignorant, lying snake of a politician.

But no more. Today, I came across a deal breaker.

Sarah Palin doesn't like cats.

Oh, and also, three out of four of her closest friends won't commit to voting for her.

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Fannie Who?

2008-09-08T21:45:00.002-06:00

Fannie Mae? Didn't she write that book about Fried Green Tomatoes?

That may be what Mavericky Maverick Maverickson Palin may think, since her remarks on the stump this weekend reveal she has no friggin' clue what Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac do.

Here's what she said:

"That's why John McCain has been calling for years to reform things and cut bureaucracy, even at the lending agencies that our government support. The fact is that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, they've gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers. The McCain Palin administration will make them smaller and smarter and more effective for homeowners who need help."

Ummmm, Sarah, do you know how Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac work? Because your statement implies a very high level ignorance. When you made that statement, the government didn't run Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. They were private corporations with shareholders. They hadn't yet cost the government a dime.

That changed as of Sunday when the government seized the companies to avert meltdown in the markets. The U.S. will back the loans and provide a giant line of credit to keep the companies solvent and the markets stable.

But, make no mistake, it was not some giant government bureaucracy that created this mess. Rather, it was a shortage of oversight and regulation that created the problems that are now costing taxpayers billions in bailouts. Palin's comments show that she truly has no idea how Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac actually work. She has no idea. She's just another ignorant Republican foisting lies and stale laugh lines on a weary public.

Go back to Alaska, Governor.

I got your respect and deference right here

2008-09-07T23:01:00.002-06:00

Sarah Palin has been kept away from the press so far, and Rick Davis has said she won't give any interviews until she feels "comfortable" giving one. In fact, she won't be giving any "until the point in time when she'll be treated with respect and deference."

Respect, fine, but deference? Deference! Who does she think she is? The freaking Queen of England?

This is presidential politics, and the job of the press is not to handle the candidates with kid gloves. I don't want any thin-skinned, lily-livered, pampered princesses who can read a mean speech parked next to the White House. I want people who actually have a clue and don't have to be protected from scrutiny.

Palin, unless you can get your ass out in front of a microphone and take questions, you are more pathetic prima donna than pitbull.

Bah!

No Politics Today

2008-09-05T16:35:00.002-06:00

Just a little bit of naked Nathan.

Today's Definition of Irony

2008-09-04T10:59:00.005-06:00

This morning, racing because I was five minutes late to an appointment, I managed to walk full speed into a plate glass window.

The urgent appointment?

Eye doctor.

Yup yup yup.

But don't worry, my eyes aren't so bad that I can't try to make up for this blog's appalling absence of beefcake the last few weeks. And in honor of the GOP gift that keeps on giving, the lying, snarling pitbull known as Sarah Palin, we'll stay focused on northern sports.

Okay, enough of that. Time to clean up our act.

Hating on America

2008-09-02T17:54:00.003-06:00

Pop quiz!

Who said: "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government."

a) Osama bin Laden
b) Jeremiah Wright
c) Genghis Khan
d) Joe Vogler, the founder of the political party connected to Sarah Palin

And the answer is... D! Yes, that's right! Joe Vogler, the founder of the Alaskan Independence Party, spoke those words in an interview in 1991 (mp3 recording here). He also said this:

"You get to thinking, why the hell do I owe them anything? And then you get mad. And you say, the hell with them. And you renounce allegiance, and you pledge your efforts, your effects, your honor, your life to Alaska."

So how does this relate to the "thoroughly vetted" vice presidential pick of "Country First" John McCain? Well, his darling girl attended the AIP's annual convention in 1994, and her husband, Todd Palin was a registered member of the party from 1995 to 2002. Palin, as governor, recorded a warm message for the party's convention this year, at which the members claim her as one of their own, saying she was a member before she decided to run for mayor.

So, I expect all those Republicans who were upset about the Jeremiah Wright will now be clamouring for Palin's head, right. Right? Anybody?

Off With Their Heads

2008-08-31T09:16:00.005-06:00

Apparently, firing people who get on her bad side is standing operating procedure for new VP nominee Sarah Palin. We've all heard about her troopergate, but apparently there are other firings in her past.

In 1997, some citizens of that booming metropolis of Wasilla (pop. roughly the size of a crowded Wal-Mart) threatened a recall of Mayor Palin after she fired the city police chief and library director, both of whom had had the temerity to support her opponent in the election. She eventually let the librarian stay.

There's also a report out that she fired aide John Bitney after he got on the bad side of her husband, Todd Palin. Seems Bitney was dating the soon-to-be ex-wife of Todd's best friend.

A few more stories like this come out, and we may see just how Cheneyesque Palin really is.

Update! She also fired the entire Alaska Board of Agriculture and Conservation because she didn't like a decision one of its subcommittees made on a decision to close a money-losing state-run dairy which Palin wanted to remain open. To be fair, she only wanted to fire the Creamery Board, but she couldn't do that directly, so it was out, out, out with everybody.

The irony is that in the end, the dairy was closed anyway because it wasn't viable, but the delay cost Alaskan taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars. The delay did provide comfort to some local dairy farmers, one of whom just happened to the be the father-in-law of the new Director.

(Republicans are advised to ignore the preceding paragraph and continue to believe that Palin is a paragon of reform and fiscal conservatism.)

(Yes, this is a totally gratuitous John Corbett Northern Exposure picture. I just wanted to end on a happy image.)

In Honor of McCain's VP Pick

2008-08-29T11:37:00.003-06:00

Voila! Problem solved!

2008-08-28T15:04:00.002-06:00

Oh this is too too perfect. One of McCain's health care policy advisors has tipped his hand about the real solution to America's health care problems. This is from an interview regarding Census Bureau findings that nearly one in four people in Texas are uninsured.

But the numbers are misleading, said John Goodman, president of the National Center for Policy Analysis, a right-leaning Dallas-based think tank. Mr. Goodman, who helped craft Sen. John McCain's health care policy, said anyone with access to an emergency room effectively has insurance, albeit the government acts as the payer of last resort. (Hospital emergency rooms by law cannot turn away a patient in need of immediate care.)

"So I have a solution. And it will cost not one thin dime," Mr. Goodman said. "The next president of the United States should sign an executive order requiring the Census Bureau to cease and desist from describing any American – even illegal aliens – as uninsured. Instead, the bureau should categorize people according to the likely source of payment should they need care.

"So, there you have it. Voila! Problem solved."

See. If we just stop reporting that there's a problem, there won't be any problem!

I could have done something, but my feelings were hurt

2008-08-26T23:53:00.002-06:00

I watched Hillary Clinton's speech tonight, and I thought it was an excellent speech. Her support for Obama was clear and unequivocal, and her argument to her supporters regarding why they, too, should support Obama was flawless.

I will always remember the single mom who had adopted two kids with autism, didn't have health insurance and discovered she had cancer. But she greeted me with her bald head painted with my name on it and asked me to fight for health care.

I will always remember the young man in a Marine Corps t-shirt who waited months for medical care and said to me: "Take care of my buddies; a lot of them are still over there ... .and then will you please help take care of me?"

I will always remember the boy who told me his mom worked for the minimum wage and that her employer had cut her hours. He said he just didn't know what his family was going to do.
...
I want you to ask yourselves: Were you in this campaign just for me? Or were you in it for that young Marine and others like him? Were you in it for that mom struggling with cancer while raising her kids? Were you in it for that boy and his mom surviving on the minimum wage? Were you in it for all the people in this country who feel invisible?

This is what is at stake. This is healthcare. This is an economy that isn't flushed down the toilet. This is our military not being sent off ill-equipped to unnecessary wars.

If McCain is elected, we will continue to be overstretched militarily. He doesn't want to leave Iraq, and he's just itching to tangle with Iran and Russia. People will die. They will die violently and needlessly. This is the cost of voting for McCain.

If McCain is elected, there will be no significant healthcare reform. If anything gets enacted, it will simply benefit the insurance companies, which will continue to earn record profits while denying coverage to the people who need it most. People with chronic illnesses or a history of cancer will be unable to afford insurance because McCain's tax credit for health insurance won't cover premiums, even assuming they can find an insurer willing to sell them a policy. Some of these people will die from treatable and preventable illnesses because they will not have insurance. This is the cost of voting for McCain.

If McCain is elected, we will continue to run giant deficits and continue selling off our future to China. More good jobs will be shipped overseas. The middle class will fade into the working poor, while the McCains and the Bushes and the Cheneys and the Romneys and all their cronies will get ever richer. This is the cost of voting for McCain.

The stakes are incredibly high, and the cost of a McCain victory would be devastating. That polls show the race is still close is astounding to me. We simply cannot allow it to happen.

And yet, even with all this at stake, there are some Hillary supporters who aren't ready to support Obama. I read the comments here, and there are commenters who just can't quite get behind Obama or who might be convinced, but only if he does this, that or the other to cater to them. They make me want to scream!

I want every single one of those women to look at a 10-year-old child, and I want them to imagine what the world will be like eight years down the road if McCain is elected. I want them to imagine that child being drafted to fight one of the Republican's endless wars. I want them to imagine that child being denied the opportunity for college because there are no more grants, and the student loans have dried up because a deregulated market crashed. I want them to imagine that child losing a parent to cancer because there was no insurance.

Then I want them to imagine telling that child, "I had the chance to vote against McCain and prevent all this from happening, but my feelings were hurt, and I decided my feelings were more important than your future."

Recounting

2008-08-24T08:26:00.005-06:00

Last night, I tried to watch the movie Recount, about the aftermath of the 2000 election in Florida that ultimately led to Bush in the White House. It was very well done and wonderfully acted, but I just couldn't get through it. It made my stomach tie up in knots.

The consequences of what went on with that travesty are simply too grave to watch peacefully.

The direct consequence of Bush being handed that election by the Supreme Court is hundreds of thousands of deaths and millions of lives disrupted.

Because George W. Bush became president, we went to war with Iraq. There was no reason to do so other than the fact that Dubya and his cronies wanted to go to war with Iraq. Had Gore been president, we would have stayed the hell out of there. We likely would still have been attacked on 9/11, and we likely would have gone to Afghanistan, and there's no way to tell how things would have worked out from there.

But we would not have invaded Iraq. Which means more than 4000 members of our military would probably still be alive. Tens of thousands more would not have been wounded. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis would still be alive. (Yes, they'd be living under a vile dictator, but they'd be alive. And they'd have electricity.) Millions of Iraqis would not be living as refugees in countries like Syria and Jordan.

That's the price tag. Hundreds of thousands of lives. All because of a massive fuck up in Florida.

I didn't know how costly it would be at the time. I was disappointed in the vote, but I consoled myself and others with the prediction that Dubya would turn out to be an ineffective one-term president, that he could only do a limited amount of damage.

It's possibly the most wrong I've ever been in my life.

It taught me an important lesson. This matters. Elections matter. Voting matters. The integrity of this whole system matters. Immensely. It is, in fact, a matter of life and death.

During the 2000 election, I knew some folks who were really fed up with the whole corporate nature of our political system, who were fond of saying there's not a dime's worth of difference between the Republicans and the Democrats. And I was sympathetic to what they were saying. But they were wrong. Dead, dead, dead wrong.

It makes a difference. It's a matter of life and death.

We simply cannot afford another Republican administration full of swagger and saber rattling and war as the answer to everything. We simply cannot. As flawed as Gore might have been as a president, he would have been a million times better than Bush. And as flawed as Obama might be, he will be a million times better than McCain.

We cannot get it wrong again.

Summer Doldrums

2008-08-21T10:13:00.003-06:00

I have simply not felt like blogging lately.

There's been plenty to write about... my vacation, school, the world. There's endless mockery of McCain to be done. (The guy can't even remember how many homes he owns!) But when it comes to actually writing about it... meh.

I'll try to get back in the writing groove soon. But in the meantime, I'll leave you with this picture I snapped on the streets of Glenwood Springs, Colorado:

Sage advice, I'm sure.

I Need Another Vacation

2008-08-15T10:32:00.003-06:00

I've been back in real life for five days now, and that seems quite enough. Next vacation, please!

It was quite a lovely vacation. We stayed in Colorado, going first to Glenwood Springs, and then to Vail and finally to Salida. MP's two youngest daughters joined us Saturday night, and we celebrated MP's birthday Sunday with an all-day rafting trip on the Arkansas River.

We relaxed a lot, ate some really good food and did a fair amount of active things like biking and hiking, including a hike up to Hanging Lake, which was really stunning and well worth my aches, pains and gasping for breath.

And then we came home, and I did a mad scramble getting registered for classes, which started on Monday. I'm taking mathematical economics and a statistics class. A lot of math. My last math class was a calculus course in 1984. Eek! What the hell am I thinking?

So, the last five days have been all about classes, figuring out how to get to and around campus (I rode Denver's light rail for the first time Wednesday!), digging through the mountain of mail and e-mail that accumulates and contemplating the mountain of crap in my office.

It's all a bit much, which is why I want another vacation, please.

Happy Friday, everyone!

I'm outta here!

2008-08-03T10:34:00.002-06:00

Just for a week.

MP and I are heading up to the mountains for a week. I had considered taking the laptop, but... nah. It's just going to be MP, me and the trees.

Y'all play nice while I'm gone!

Big & Rich Bunch of Nothing

2008-08-02T14:02:00.003-06:00

This is too funny.

John McCain is still searching for that rock star draw, so he got the support of country music star John Rich, half of Big and Rich. He couldn't get the whole band. Big Kenny's supporting Obama.

So, Rich writes a song for McCain, and he premieres it at a free concert last night in Panama City, Florida. We've country music, and it's free, and we're out in the Redneck Riviera. Should be HUGE, right?

Not so much. Five hundred people showed up. Fox News doesn't report the numbers, but they post the video, which makes me think the 500 number is overstating things, even including the band members and the roadies. It's just sad. I've seen bigger crowds show up for jam making demonstrations at county fairs.

Vile Blogger and Other Nonsense

2008-08-01T22:50:00.004-06:00

So, blogger decided I was a spam blog and wouldn't let me post for a couple days there. Frickin' frackin' nasty stupid wretched blogger.

May whoever created their spam detection bot get blisters on the bottom of their heels.

I'd like to wish something harsher on them, but a) I'm a non-violent type of gal, and b) I don't think my karma could take the hit of a more serious curse. A blister on the heel seems appropriately annoying without actually being harmful. It was either that or a giant zit right before a big date, but the creator of the spam detection bot probably doesn't have that much of a life. So, blister baby!

***

In other news, we went and saw The Dark Knight again tonight. This time on IMAX! Yes, I saw Heath Ledger's face six zillion feet high, and it was seriously cool.

And then it took forever to get out of the world's most badly designed parking garage. And I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack because I hate being stuck in parking garages. So, we stopped at Barnes & Noble on the way home because I thought a cup of chai and something sweet would relax me. Hah. The Barnes & Noble was crawling with teenaged girls all dressed in black dresses.

Apparently, the latest Stephanie Meyer book is to be released at 12:01, and apparently, Stephanie Meyer is the hottest thing among teenage girls since Harry Potter showed off his magic wand.

On the one hand, I am very pleased to see this many young people excited about books. On the other, I am a cranky old woman in training, and these frickin' kids interfered with my relaxing!

***

Finally, because of stupid, jerky, mean, dumb, fart-brained blogger, I didn't do my Beefcake Friday.

But there is this.

Crabby Old Woman

2008-07-28T20:18:00.002-06:00

The neighborhood kids are out riding their bikes in the last rays of the sunset, and I have this strange urge to go out and yell at them.

I don't know why. They're not bothering me. In fact, I rather like that they're out on their bikes instead of inside glued to a video game. They're not making noise. They're behaving. They seem moderately supervised by some parental unit.

And yet I have this urge to be a cranky old woman and go out and yell at kids for being kids.

What is up with that?

Maybe I just worry I need to get in some practice. I mean, sure, I've got decades before I'll actually hit any official cranky old woman age. But still, it's never to early to start practicing.

Throwing in the Towel

2008-07-25T14:29:00.002-06:00

This beefcake stuff is hard. I'm throwing in the towel for today.

Happy Friday, everybody!

Obama in Berlin

2008-07-24T21:02:00.002-06:00

I watched the speech today. I was pleased.

Republicans are scrambling to make snarky comments. But fuck 'em. My answer to criticism is this: When was the last time we saw a huge crowd in a foreign country waving American flags instead of burning them?

If we actually manage to elect Obama, I may feel free to travel in Europe without sticking a Canadian maple leaf on all my luggage.

Target Demographics

2008-07-23T08:58:00.003-06:00

I look at the envelope and read "free." It's free! Free must be good!

Oh oh. I look at the envelope more closely. I read the rest of the line: "Free Pre-Paid Cremation! Details inside."

Yes, I have the exciting opportunity to win a pre-paid cremation. I have entered the target demographic for death.

Inside the envelope is a letter telling me that 50 percent of Colorado residents have selected cremation as their preference for post bucket-kicking disposal. With an exclamation point!

It even gives the name of last month's winner of a pre-paid cremation. No exclamation point. Sadly, it does not include a picture of the lucky winner holding her urn and ceremonial match. I'm assuming there's a ceremonial match. Oversized, just like the checks when you win the Publisher's Clearinghouse. I'm not sure I should believe there's been a winner if I don't see her standing on her porch and jumping up and down while being presented her ceremonial match.

I don't quite know how to feel about this extra special bit of junk mail. On the one hand, I'm all for cremation. Torching me seems much more efficient than sticking me in with the worms. I've never been sentimental or superstitious about what happens to my body after death. Being dead, I'm pretty damned sure I'm not going to care. Well, hopefully not "damned" sure, but you get the idea.

So, yes, cremation is all well and good, and I've no doubt it's prudent to think about these things before the fact, since any thinking after the fact seems highly unlikely. Still, marketing it in creamy white envelopes with reply slips and handy no postage necessary return envelopes just seems... ghoulish.

And, it makes me feel old. I don't want pre-paid cremation! I have no intention of needing any such thing for at least another four or five decades, by which point, I might have other options. Maybe they'll have perfected cryogenics by then. I don't want to miss out on having my head parked next to Walt Disney's for all eternity just because I don't want to waste my pre-paid cremation.

So, I think I'll pass on my exciting opportunity to win. This junk mail marketing just isn't working for me. I think they should just give up the mail marketing and switch to late night infomercials. Because if I reach the point where I'm watching late night infomercials, then I probably am ready to be thinking about death. I'll sign up for the cremation right after ordering the cubic zirconium charm bracelet and my salad spinner.

Need Pretty

2008-07-18T09:29:00.005-06:00

It's hot, and I'm crabby. I need pretty.

All better now.

Happy Friday!

Defining Abortion

2008-07-16T11:33:00.003-06:00

I've told you before about the movement to ban contraception. Now the Bush administration is trying to help that effort along by arbitrarily redefining abortion to include all forms of hormonal birth control.

In a proposal related to expanding "conscience clauses" for health care workers, the Department of Health and Human Services "proposes to define abortion as any of the various procedures—including the prescription and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action—that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation."

This writing is designed to cover any hormonal birth control methods like pills and Depo Provera and Norplant as well as methods like IUDs on the theory that these methods could, just maybe, possibly, might allow an egg to get cozy with a sperm and then prevent that fertilized egg from implanting. Understand, there's no evidence to say that does happen, but there's a theory that it could.

But evidence schmevidence. This isn't about evidence. This is about how people feeeeel about the little bitty babies! Seriously, here's what they say.

Because the statutes that would be enforced through this regulation seek, in part, to protect individuals and institutions from suffering discrimination on the basis of conscience, the conscience of the individual or institution should be paramount in determining what constitutes abortion, within the bounds of reason.

So, there's no firm definition of abortion. It's just what you feel. If you feel like birth control pills are evil things used by wicked women to destroy little bitty babies, then they are! No need for science, medicine, and logic. It's all just what god tells you! If it feels bad, ban it!

This is all just crazy and messed up on so many levels. It's all part of a squeeze that attempts to make contraception harder and harder to access, especially for the young and poor. This has serious health consequences for women, but these people don't care. They're obsessed with sex, and they can't stand the idea that anyone would dare have sex for any reason other than procreation.

Let's hold this up as reason #11,436 why we must get rid of the Republican stranglehold on our executive branch.

Elitist: You keep using that word...

2008-07-13T14:36:00.005-06:00

As Inigo Montoya so famously said, I do not think it means what you think it means.

The "Obama is an elitist" meme started in full force back with the overblown "bitter" comments before the Pennsylvania primary. Some former Clinton supporters just can't seem to let it go, and I still can't figure out what they mean by it.

One of the most recent charges of "elitism" came from a Hillary supporter only described on CNN as businesswoman Lynn Forester. She said: "This is a hard decision for me personally because, frankly, I don’t like him. I feel like he is an elitist."

Lynn Forester's full name is Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild. She's the wife of Sir Evelyn Robert Adrian de Rothschild. Yes, those de Rothschilds. Incredibly wealthy family of bankers and financiers. Makers of that little grape juice known as Chateau Lafite, a bottle of which you can acquire for a grand or two, if you're so inclined. Lady Lynn hobnobs with Tony and Cherie Blair. She was a wealthy entrepreneur worth over a hundred million even before her marriage. Buddy Henry Kissinger introduced her to her husband. She has servants, estates, piles of money and power galore.

But she doesn't like Obama because he is an elitist.

I really have to wonder how her dictionary defines elitist. I'm also a wee bit curious as to how it defines irony.

Whiners

2008-07-11T17:23:00.004-06:00

I've been avoiding writing about politics since the primary ended because I needed a break from it, but Phil Gramm opening his fetid little pie hole has inspired me to start up again.

As you've surely all heard by now, Phil Gramm called the United States a "nation of whiners" and said that this recession stuff is all in our heads.

The beauty in this statement is not just in its function as a slap in the face to real people across the country, the ones who are "whining" about pesky facts like their homes losing value and the price of gas roughly doubling over the last few years, although that function is the gift that will keep on giving for Democrats this election.

The deeper beauty of this statement is that it reveals exactly how Gramm and his cronies think about the economy. See, for Gramm and others who exist in the elite world of the top 1 percent income bracket, the economy has been peachy keen. From 2002 to 2006, their incomes increased 11 percent.

The other 99 percent of us? We got 0.9 percent growth. Less than one percent. Feeling prosperous with that? Probably not. Even though that represents growth accounting for inflation, based on the official Consumer Price Index, the official CPI may well underestimate actual inflation for a whole bunch of reasons that could make a blog post of its own. So, if inflation is actually 1 percent higher than the official amount, that "increase" in income starts looking a lot like a decrease instead.

But, that's only if you're inclined to whining about not being able to afford gas, healthcare and food.

Phil Gramm can afford gas, healthcare and food, and that's what matters to him. John McCain, George Bush, Dick Cheney... they're all doing fine. So the rest of us should just shut up and go back to being scared of terrorists.

Because according to Gramm, the architect of McCain's economic policy, any economy that makes him richer is a fine and dandy economy. For the 99 percent of us who didn't manage to join the ranks of the extremely wealthy, who didn't make millions from insider deals with companies like Enron before it collapsed and screwed over thousands of those 99 percenters, well, that's just our tough luck.

If McCain were elected, Gramm is considered a leading choice for Treasury Secretary, the primary economic advisor to the president. I'm sure there could be more disastrous choices than Gramm, but none come to mind at the moment.

Fortunately, votes in this country have not yet been reallocated based on income levels, and those of us 99 percent group have a chance to shout out a resounding NO to more of Gramm's trainwreck economic policies. We've just got to stay focused on our pocketbooks and ignore the endless stream of distractions the McCain campaign will try to throw at us.